Dose of Delusion
Two professionals serving up witty banter, unfiltered opinions, and contagious laughter. Join us in Dose of Delusion as we dissect life's absurdities and navigate the world with humor and touch of delusion.
Dose of Delusion
Parties, Holiday Chaos, and Gift-Giving!
Jay and AJ describe a weekend filled with parties, work events, and the perpetual balance between work and social commitments. They touch on an enticing Food Network experience and emphasize the importance of self-care amidst the holiday rush. Concluding with the age-old tradition of gift-giving, AJ and Jay share unique strategies for navigating multiple parties, handling financial strains, and fostering genuine connections through thoughtful gifts, including the sometimes controversial gift-giving topics. For those caught in the holiday shopping frenzy, the duo provides practical tips, encouraging listeners to relax, grab their favorite drink, and join in the vibrant picture they paint of the party scene and holiday season.
Hello and welcome back to Dose of Delusion. This is your host for this evening's podcast, aj the Silver Fox, and, of course, with me is, oh my god, jay, I missed you. It's been forever.
Speaker 2:Well, hello, hello, hello, aj, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
Speaker 1:It's been a bit Well, you know. I mean, one time is flying by, like we've already said, right.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But also I was a little under the weather so we didn't get to record it last week and now we're recording long distance. This is really weird for me.
Speaker 2:I know you were 550 miles away from me right now and I still don't understand how like the internet really works. But you're like also right in front of me.
Speaker 1:I love it. The technology today, right? Yes, so to get on going to our typical catch up sessions, because I feel like we have a lot to catch up on because we didn't really see each other. But let's go way back when, because I feel like it's already been forever. I really, really want to talk about our amazing weekend for the Leather and Lace Party that we went to.
Speaker 2:I OK, yes, I have. Actually I was. Obviously I was so bummed that you were under the weather, but I had so much to say about that like, really gratitude, I mean the utmost gratitude, mainly obviously for DJ Rudy.
Speaker 1:Yes. I mean, I'm not the extra Mark Oz like oh, oh, my, excuse me, dose of reality. It's Nick Strasner.
Speaker 2:My apologies, nick Strasner. I was still blown away. I had the utmost. Oh, my goodness, I just wanted to.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to scream thank you from the rooftops. The music was amazing. The music was just beyond and it just it kept me wanting to go and go and dance and dance, and they all have their own unique Vibes about them that it was just like like I couldn't stop. It was just so, so good. And you know I don't know if you know this like you know, like with DJs, some of them produce their own music and their beats and everything, and then others combine the produced mixes and and do it live in front of us. It's not like a prerecorded and then they press play, like it's everything that goes behind. It is is insane, it's amazing.
Speaker 2:OK, so I'm jumping around a little bit now. So I mean, obviously, first of all, I was came out of my shell quite a bit by going to the Leather and Lace party. You know war things that are probably well that I've never worn in public before and I have all these photos on my phone and I'm like I want to put listen, I don't think they're like terrible, horrible extradited photos by any means, but I'm just wait a minute.
Speaker 1:What Wait a minute? What you have photos.
Speaker 2:I have photos that my am I in any? You are in one. We took a little bit of a selfie. But OK so but I, one of my other friends, was there and when I was dancing he snapped a handful of photos of me and they came out pretty well and I'm just like do I post them? Do I not post them? What do I do? I don't know, because it's like the first time I've done something like that and I love it.
Speaker 1:OK, so let's, let's kind of enlighten people. So we went to a cute little circuit party called Leather and Lace and it is DJs. It's kind of like, I mean, like a festival. So you know, people go to like the festival where and like feathers or whatever the theme is that they want to go ahead and do. I love a theme, I love Halloween themes. I love party themes. I love these holiday themes. I love you. Give me a theme and I'm going to turn it out.
Speaker 2:You're going to show up.
Speaker 1:I mean, of course you know I mean any, any excuse to like eyes on me, attention on me and all of that stuff, obviously. But like it, like, like. Ok, I mean describe my outfit, Tell everyone what I was wearing.
Speaker 2:Please, I, oh my goodness, he had one like this little leather sorry this lace singlet, and it was designed impeccably. It was absolutely. Of course, aj has this tiny little petite body and fit him flawlessly. It was lacing their front with a nice sequined pattern on it, with all straps in the back. I really, I love it.
Speaker 1:And the accessories being please go on. Of course, do I need to paint a picture?
Speaker 2:paint a picture so that they don't have to sound, so I want them to understand.
Speaker 1:There's no photos. That's what I'm so upset about. There's no photos for me to pose with my complete ensemble, which I thought was amazing.
Speaker 2:Well it was and I'm really bummed and honestly, I didn't know that that, ok, none, I mean, it's not my fault that you don't have photos, but I did want to take photos and I was like, well, should I pull my phone out and start snapping a lot of photos in this big crowd, or do?
Speaker 1:I not.
Speaker 2:Well, I didn't know. I'm a baby.
Speaker 1:Listen if people don't know that's fair, I, that's fair, that's completely fair, and so like, ok, so I'm going to give the people what they want, which is they want to know what I was wearing. So I, of course, I mean I had. I found this designer online a few years ago on Instagram and it's called Race Strings, and I stumbled across him and was like, oh my God, his pieces are amazing. So he does custom pieces, he does like things that already made and he sells them by the size because they're, of course, fitted to the individuals. I, I have three pieces.
Speaker 1:I've worn one before for a Halloween thing a couple years ago, where I was like a peacock because it was like blue sequin or a dusting green. And and then the one from last night was this like champagne or not? Last night last weekend was the champagne colored lace sequin to die for, and it was accessorized with a burgundy stole, which is firm, of course, and leather accessories such as a little French beret and little cute leather short shorts. So and, mind you, combat boots to kind of tie it all together, and so and but but also, aside from me being typically one of the few that goes all out, so many people were laced and leathered out. I was so impressed, I was so proud to see the San Antonio community get their shit together and hear a theme and we're like, oh, you want leather and lace. I'll show you chains, I'll show you leather. I'll show you lace, I'll show you. And everyone did it and I was so excited.
Speaker 2:As as, like I said, I was, I was new to the scene and little babies, just the baby, but it was. I got photos and I'm jealous. I mean, I hope you're not jealous, but I'll have to. I'll send them to you. Or, if you tell me I should post them, I'll post them. Maybe I'll post them on those to Delusion IG.
Speaker 1:We will take a look.
Speaker 2:Slow your roll.
Speaker 1:I know Well, hold on, hold on. I will take a look to see how it shouldn't show any who so. So I'm so proud of everyone's outfits and and the turnout that it was. It was an amazing event. There were people from Austin and the Valley and Dallas and and Houston. There were so many people just from out and about because Nick Strysner is an amazing DJ. He's an amazing DJ that, like he has these like followings of people. He's based out of Dallas but like, for instance, he just finished playing in New York, he's actually in Canada right now.
Speaker 2:So we saw an international DJ bitch, like it was amazing it really was, and even before them, because I know that DJ Rudy was opening and I was yes. I'm going to say pleasantly surprised, because I know he's very successful, but with the amount of people that showed up to see the opener yeah, you know what I mean. No, of course I was just like. You know what. I know. He's good, he knows he's good, but this turnout is 100 percent validation that he's badass. And it was. It was great.
Speaker 1:So behind the scenes knowledge, because of course I, I'm I'm friends with the DJ, you know so, I know so OK, he. So a lot of the people thought that he was actually going to be the closer or like the main. So so many people had to like rearrange, like trying to show up at certain times because they thought, oh, I don't, you know, I'll be, you know they knew Rudy and didn't know Nick or whatever it may have been. But then all of a sudden it's like, oh shit, it's ending at two and it's this or that, and like people are just getting their shit together and going. So like it was, it was really, really nice and I had a really good time.
Speaker 1:The surprise DJ, mark Oz, was at the little cute after that he did. Since it ended so promptly at two, it did have to extend for a couple more hours. You know what I mean. So we ventured off to the next destination, which was the after party, and his music is so different and hard and he produces a lot of his own stuff that it was just like I couldn't stop dancing like for the life of me. I couldn't, and I was insane. It was so good.
Speaker 2:AJ, I have so much to say right now. Just follow this train, ok. So obviously the after is hosted by one of one of our friends who has opened up his home to me on more than one occasion. I've been so grateful for that Right Just inviting us over and hanging out. So I'm like you know what I'm going to go, and I am well.
Speaker 2:I went home to I partied way too hard at first. I tend to go freshen up and change Right. So I go home and I said you know what? And I had two bottles of liquor that I was going to bring as a thank you, and again Uber. And we get there and I show up and I first of all left the one bottle in the car in Uber, because I'm a delusional dumb bitch. And I have the other bottle of tequila, and I walk in and I was not expecting Marcos to be there, I was not expecting the amount of people. I was like, oh my goodness, I have no idea where that bottle went. I said on the counter and it was gone.
Speaker 2:I remember walking in and being like so overwhelmed and I was like to strangers where is my co-host, where is AJ? And then I did see one of our mutual friends and I was like, take me to your leader. And he did. He brought me to you. But seeing Marcos play like five feet from me, isn't that amazing and it was so good that. You know I'm a social person. I kept walking around meeting new people, you know, going out back and engaging in conversation, and I remember I would leave these conversations that I was having out back, which were great conversations, like mid conversations, like I'm sorry, I'll be right back to go back to the dance floor and go dance to Marcos. I would do that for 10, 15 minutes, go back to have more conversations, and I kept being pulled from socializing to go back and dance and it was so just in transnic, I loved it.
Speaker 1:That the music was just calling you. It was. It was the music just bringing you forth. It was so fun. I was so exhausted the next day which I was just you know, like my legs were, my poor little baby legs were just so exhausted and tired from all the dancing and, mind you, calling it a night I'm shortly after four around there and having to work the next day.
Speaker 2:How do you do that?
Speaker 1:I'm a professional. I am a professional when I have to get shit done, I get shit done.
Speaker 2:That's like the story of our lives and you looked amazing because you post a little video from the office. I did. I was like I get being at work I get being a professional but looking as a 10 at the same time. Come on.
Speaker 1:Oh, honey, no, I know it's what I do. It was just such a really really good time that I really it was amazing, it really was. It was the weekend of it all took over and Sunday having to work, it was a short day anyway and then just to move on to the week like it was nothing and and you know the I spoke to I had spoken to Nick. He popped into the after for a bit and I was like you did so good, your set was amazing. And I was chatting with him and I was like I don't know if you know, but I have this podcast and I mentioned you, I'm going to tag you and he's like oh, oh, yeah, you did, thank you, I saw it. And I was like oh, that's amazing. And he was so sweet and so nice. And he was like oh, and, by the way, it's straisner, not stressor and I was like oh no, oh my God.
Speaker 1:I said I will never forget that again. I apologize. He was just so sweet and nice about it. And then Mark is himself just like an amazing personality and sweet down earth individual. And then the one who brought it all together, rudy, and his husband Jesse, were just I mean, they know how to throw a fucking party and the debt they they're dancers that they had and the outfits that they did and and every event that they have. It's amazing, like like the last one was for Rudy's birthday in the summer and he actually had Mark Oz out and played the opening and that theme was a galactic ho down. And so there I am, like a slutty cowboy with like futuristic sunglasses dancing around, and then had a little outfit change for the DJ switch and I come out in this sequined onesie looking outfit, one piece with an astronaut helmet.
Speaker 2:Listener, I saw this photo and I was like where the fuck did you get a helmet from?
Speaker 1:Bitch. When you got to do, you got to do. Listen. Being gay is expensive as fuck and I think that this theme you'll this will be a theme without today's episode actually to, to, to, but to start it now, we it's expensive from getting designers to make my designed one of a kind outfits for these little parties that I could only wear once, unfortunately, but you know what? I wasn't photographed so I might be able to bring it out again and accessories differently.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're talking about from this last weekend one.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, like I'm never wearing, I'm never wearing that astronaut again. You know what I mean. I can't. I have the helmet there. I was asked what do you do with the helmet? It's decor. It's decor right now and it's, it's a it is. It's available for rental purposes. Anyone listening that wants to borrow it. So I'm sure we could come up with some kind of figure, but you know, it's, it's it's. You know, being in this, you know, little cutesy social scene is kind of expensive actually, with these little outfits and everything that we have to do and my G don't have to no, of course not. But you want to. But for me, for me, I have to. It's, it's a theme.
Speaker 2:I think it's. I'm like, okay, between tickets and drinks and gratitude gifts and outfits and costumes and, you know, pitching in for your fair share of any type of fun. I'm just like, oh, thank God, I work.
Speaker 1:I know. So it's, it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's a lot and you know, and on that note of being expensive or the gay being a gay, a gay socialite or a gunkle for that matter, with the holidays around, it's fucking expensive doing all this, so my knees begin to gunkle.
Speaker 2:My knees has a, has Christmas and her birthday nine days apart.
Speaker 1:One gift, one gift. I'm that uncle, I'm that uncle, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Thank you, um so so okay, so that was, that was our shared weekend, and then we had the week going on for the week. Did anything delusional happen for you during the week?
Speaker 2:Delusional during the week? No, okay, I don't know, did I, did I mention to you my food network thing?
Speaker 1:Okay, Was that okay, that was during the week, or was that the weekend Starting? Okay, so we're not done yet.
Speaker 2:So what am I doing? No, no, no no, no, nothing.
Speaker 1:So for me, my week just to like lately touch um, I had a short week, thank goodness Um. After that that long weekend and working Sunday, I had a full day Monday and then Tuesday we had our work holiday company party, um, so, which ties in with our theme of the episode of holidays and parties, but so it was. It was cute. It was like at an axe throwing um venue and I don't trust these people enough to be around.
Speaker 1:I threw two axes and a throwing a ninja throwing star and a little ninja dagger knife and the the the ninja star bounced off and nearly attacked me. So self defense, I don't know. And the dagger did get the bullseye not the bullseye, but like it hit the thing like way off to the side and the axes were just too fucking heavy. I can't with these dainty little arms, I just couldn't do it. Have you? Have you done one of those acts?
Speaker 2:I actually never have, but I saw one video that makes me never want to do it. And I don't know. The odds are probably Very slim, but this guy threw the axe and when it hit the wood it happened to bounce right back and he caught it. And now that I'm saying this out loud, I'm pretty sure the doctored rewind video oh, God, I thought it was gonna like stab him or something, but they do bounce back. Okay then, maybe it wasn't a doctored video. It bounced back and he ended up catching it.
Speaker 1:No, I don't know I'm not doing that send it to me up on so and so then, shortly after that I did start feeling a little under the weather, okay, and that's when I started getting like a key and I was like, oh, I've just been drinking consecutively like too much a drink Friday, drink Saturday. I was gonna do Sunday fund aid but I was like, no, you work tomorrow, so I didn't. And then Tuesday I had drinks at that work event. So I just like like I was like, okay, like I'm, I drank too much the alcohols, getting me like Usually with waters or like it fixes it and then I'm able to continue on. And then it didn't go away. And then I started getting headaches and then Coffeeing and I was like, oh, no.
Speaker 1:So I did a little at home COVID test. Thank goodness it wasn't that. I did a teledoc and she was like, oh, it could be the flu. And I was like, no bitch, I took the vaccine. Why did I get that fucking shot If it was gonna? If it was gonna, she's like, well, you still get it, it's just not as strong. And I was like, well, fuck me, why did I do that? I never get that stupid shot. So so started feeling you and then that's when I just kind of like Disappeared and just like I didn't do anything. What did you do? That that's when we had the holiday party for the weekend that I was supposed to attend. You went, I did, okay, but first, yes, go back Tell me about what happened Friday. Your NDA.
Speaker 2:Okay. So it all started on Wednesday. Actually, one of my friends calls me and he's like beating, what are you doing Friday, working? Well, can you not work? I'm like I mean, I cannot not work if you need me to. Well, do you have to work? I'm like. I'm like Anthony, what are you? What is going on? He's like I need to know if you want to come to a filming for one of Guy Fieri's shows. And I'm like yeah, absolutely, of course I'm not gonna fucking go to work on Friday if I can go and do that. And he's like all right, cool. But you need to sign an NDA. And I'm like all right, cool, because they don't want a lot of people to show up for the filming a while he's there. It was actually really, really cool. So I hang up, I get a call from the producers that's how my NDA is immediately I can't tell anybody which I don't and I Get there on Friday and it is so cool.
Speaker 2:Now, I've never met Guy Fieri. He's pretty down the earth, he's pretty cool. His really nice 66 Camaro is already parked outside. He was actually doing the he had. He featured a restaurant, the jerk shack, which is absolutely delicious. Yes, diners dive ins and drives, drive ins and dives, wait it.
Speaker 1:Okay, please tell me, jerk shack, is that the one that's at the pearl?
Speaker 2:No, the little no, okay, and don't ask where is I'm geographically challenged. Okay, you're so annoying. I know I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I hate this for you. I hate this for me.
Speaker 2:You know, I should, I should play, you want me to chime in. Yes, I forgot you were there.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is over on the highway 151 getting close to like SeaWorld San Antonio.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Okay, so yes, if you're in the area, check it out. It's Caribbean jerk Jamaican food. It is absolutely so Frickin good, but anyways, I love that. Oh, yeah, I get there and we're helping them because they can't announce anything ahead of time. That's why all the NDAs were in place, so they couldn't say, hey, we're closed off, right if we're filming. So people were showing up for lunch and we just had to be like, no, here's the coupon, come back later on work. Now we can tell them, hey, we're closed for filming, but they couldn't pre-announce it.
Speaker 2:Then once I guess you I mean you guys have seen this show but once you know guy finished filming with the chef during a couple of dishes, then they had to guess. And that's what I was supposed To be a guest. Now I was supposed to be just a background guest, just in the back. My friend was calling me on as a favor. He kind of knows the. His business partner opened a restaurant, so he knows them very well. He's been a fan since day one, obviously, and he was gonna be A number two guest or number one guest.
Speaker 2:And what it is is the food network production. We'll break everybody up and it'll be like. Ones are getting interviewed by guy, two's are sitting next to the ones of the tables are empty and threes are background filler. I was supposed to be a three. I Was completely fine with my eight seconds of airtime, right. So I'm sitting there. I love it. I'm making my small talk with these strangers. We're just having a good conversation. Then all of a sudden, producer comes up to me and he's like you up over here, sit. And I'm like yes, daddy, it was so fucking hot. All of a sudden, I guess guy was like we want to interview that guy and he put me in front of my friend, which is pretty cool, and they're like same thing, don't stare at the camera. Guys with a great asking questions, just do your thing. And we're eating. They're taking shot or a roll of us eating. Guy comes up, he sits down, he talks us like five minutes, asks us a lot of questions about our life, our work, our favorite foods and whatnot. And it was just so freakin cool that we got this. But and it'll air like in three to four months They'll let us know, hopefully. Yeah, we'll find out. Yeah, totally, this is the thing that got the most. You know, I, I'm one of two people.
Speaker 2:When I'm out in public, I'm either Earbuds in, don't look at me, don't talk to me, or I'm giving every stranger what I call my three-minute Netflix comedy special right. And While we're outside, production is in and out, guys in and out, and we were outside for a couple of hours Helping them keep people turning people away, right. And I'm sparking up conversations with the production and at one point we found out that guy was staying at the st Anthony and he had a really nice Camaro, you see on the show. And so one of my buddies asked oh, is that Camaro Park to the st Anthony? And they're like no, production doesn't stay at the st Anthony.
Speaker 2:I was like where do you guys stay? And they said at the hotel which is right next to my apartment building. So we start a conversation about that. Once I kind of started feeling warm with this guy. I'm like our earlissenser. You got to tell me a little gossip, like what's going on behind the scenes, what are the shows have you worked on? And he gave me some dish on a few celebrity chefs.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh.
Speaker 2:I know now between me and you all right, so okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no one else everyone.
Speaker 2:I don't necessarily want to say the chef name, because I did not read the fine print of my NDA and I don't want to be cancelled so soon, but celebrity, right, right, as who's a restaurateur as well and has a competition show a couple competition shows, actually and what he'll do is he invites people, uh-huh, to come compete on this competition show and then okay, right before they go to air I mean to film he's like hey, I love this recipe you have.
Speaker 2:I would love to feature to my restaurants. Can I, can I have it?
Speaker 2:and sometimes I say yes and they signed it over and they, you know, lose their bread and butter or Wow no he says I don't give it to me, you're not, you don't get to come on the show, and If they still say no, they already have backups waiting. So he just uses his competition show to gain these incredibly successful recipes and I know who was, but I'm not gonna say anything, really. I know I was super excited about it. Um, but yeah, that was my Friday, completely unexpected, right?
Speaker 1:That's a me easy.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be on TV. That's so cute and not for a bad thing, but listen, or listen up, please go. If you're in the area, the San Antonio area you must go check out the jerk shack. It is absolutely phenomenal. She's great. She's been in business for like seven years, has a crispiest chicken, the best seasonings. Oh, I just yeah, you have to go check it out.
Speaker 1:And plus this one's so good, I know it is now I need to check it out. Yes, right along. Yes, this Saturday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So I wanted you to come to this, to this party, but unfortunately you're still under the weather. I believed you were. You were invited, right.
Speaker 1:I was yes, so, okay, so, and I'm just right and then we'll since you have more to say on it, um, I, I, so I actually Was invited A long time ago when he had like first and tell the invites or whatever, and he does his annual Holiday party had been in prior years and of course we're talking about our friend Chris, and they do the piano and the Christmas music and it's a whole Debacle. So I really really really wanted to go and I was so sad that I missed it. Actually, I miss four parties total that day because I had four invitations and, mind you, last year same thing happened. It didn't mix with with our mutual friends, but I had four different events. I did, I wanted to go to every single one because, you know, I give you my word, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna show up with a white elephant gift again being gay and it's so expensive being gay. So I had little gifts for each, whether if it was for the host or if it was a white elephant for that party.
Speaker 1:I showed up to all four events and, you Mind, you took four different outfits. So because I'm extra like that. So I told myself after that exhausting night I'm never doing this again. They were all over town, they were not by each other, wasn't convenient. I did kind of map it like OK, starting here and then this is how and whatever it works for me. But like when I saw all those invites come in and they were the same time, I was like I'm only going to one, maybe two If the timing works out, and I would have planned accordingly. But thank goodness I was sick because I didn't have to make that decision and no one's going to know which one I wasn't going to make or which one I was going to make.
Speaker 2:So love that for you. Yeah, so tell me, how was it? No, it was my. It was my first time attending. It was my first time attending this, this event, and you're right, it's exactly how you described.
Speaker 2:It's a little over the top, but in all the best ways, you know what I mean and I would have honestly expected absolutely nothing less from them from the catering which, by the way, I also of course gave my three minute comedy special to the caterer Found out that we are alumni of the same culinary school, so that was pretty great.
Speaker 1:Oh, awesome.
Speaker 2:Super sweet, she was super nice, we tried it.
Speaker 1:About that that was in Phoenix, right, yeah, in Arizona, yes.
Speaker 2:And apparently she See I listen. She's been supporting or been working with Christian for a long time. The open bar and the shots and the thing. The only thing that that's not even a bad thing, it's just showing how diverse they are is because I had been to the house on many other occasions and there's always the same group of people. I kind of expected to see that and it was a very diverse party of many people whom I've never seen in my life before. And the only thing I wish because they also invite family.
Speaker 1:Yes, they also invite family.
Speaker 2:I wish I would have socialized with more people than just the animals and the chef. You best believe I had those dogs in my arms all night long. They're precious, so we love that they are. But no, that was actually a really great time. I was there for a few hours. Again. I, you know, brought a welcoming gift and, you know, sent a thank you gift so, again, super expensive, which you keep saying that, and it reminds me of this tweet that I saw that said, being gay is the most financially irresponsible thing I've ever done.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly why. Why do I continue to do this to myself? You know and that goes with what I said last time something about like I enjoy causing myself. Pain is what it is. I think I called you Say it on that red Never going to admit it.
Speaker 2:No, never, but you know, so Go ahead.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I'm sorry, so so I kind of that. So that was. I decided to again stay, stay in for the rest of the weekend, and that was only one holiday party. Did you do anything else for the rest of the weekend?
Speaker 2:So that was. I mean I did a small gift exchange with another super close friend group of mine. There was maybe 10 of us there. There's a lot of fun. But as far as other parties go, I have three more parties. Listener, as you heard in the beginning, I am not a senator, tonya. Right now I am over in El Paso, texas. My job brings me out here about every six to eight weeks and during this season I come out here for an extended time instead of just four days that come for about 12 days, and I have three parties to attend while I'm out here. Oh wow, and are these.
Speaker 1:These are our friends that you have like lived with family. Is this like what is the?
Speaker 2:two work holiday parties Because I was a part of two I mean, for simpler terms, two companies when I when I was out here. So I'm attending two more. And then I do have a like a friend's must that I'll be attending. So that would be for not to mention my family is so sweet because I am leaving only few days before Christmas. Oh, my family is from here as well. We're celebrating Christmas a little bit early so that I can spend it with my family, but I love that.
Speaker 2:I know it's been a lot of fun. Now I have to go gift shopping and that is, you know, I the way I give gifts. I don't actually necessarily like giving gifts on Christmas.
Speaker 1:I give gifts whenever wherever If I say something and it makes me think of you and it's within my budget.
Speaker 2:And it's just because or it's moment, or like sentimental, or very practical, I'm just going to get it for you and the dollar doesn't matter To me.
Speaker 1:I agree, I'm the same way. You know, if something reminds me of someone, I definitely want to just buy it and it's, you know, it's always a thought of that counts. It's not material, it's not anything like that. Or you know, hey, I noticed that you are missing this and I so happened to be in the pots and pans aisle and I got you a pot or whatever you know to be like it, or a little plant or something insignificant. You know it could like nothing like it was just like. Oh, you know, it's that's thoughtful With. And you know I want to like really go back real quick, because how you are with the gift giving. I do recall one of your birthdays you demanded everyone that attended to buy you a gift. So that is not what went down.
Speaker 2:Let me get into reality. It was during one of the events I planned for my birthday present and for my birthday party, which was a scavenger hunt I did make everybody teams buy like a magnet for less, the San Antonio magnet for less than $5.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, it wasn't team wide, it was every individual.
Speaker 2:I don't recall how convenient but I remember, so that's why I'm here.
Speaker 1:So here's your dose of reality. It wasn't just a magnet, it was, there was no, you did say, you did mention it couldn't, it didn't have to make sense, it could be like whatever. There were no rules on it. You were like, well, yeah, like it doesn't matter, like $5, but, like at the stupid little market that we were at, there was nothing that was just like $5.
Speaker 1:First of all, so you knew exactly what you were doing, you made us buy you gifts, you teamed us with random strangers and you got to choose whoever you wanted for your own self delusional winning ways. I, that was one of my, and I was very vocal about it, and we didn't probably talk for a little bit after that, because I was livid in the team that I was shoved upon, which they were all very sweet and nice, but I had the ones that I and then everyone got really catty and bitchy when I was like I give up, I'm done, I just want to meet up and have a drink, I'm not trying to find so and so to get a fucking scavenger point. And then points were being deducted left and right and I was like this is the birthday from hell and I am livid.
Speaker 1:So listen to.
Speaker 2:The funny thing is everything AJ is saying is like 99.5% of the time, and I'm saying is like 99.9% accurate. But it all comes down to perspective, because another person at my party will say the exact same thing he said in a completely different tone of voice and would have loved it. But no, you're not wrong. I had a blast at my party, but you know, what? Let's just go back to holiday gift giving.
Speaker 1:I know I am so sorry, I went to gifts, and how you anyway.
Speaker 2:So I was on a tangent every week to get bullied. I love you.
Speaker 1:Is it bullied when it's honesty? Anywho, I'm fucking bitch AJ how do you give your gifts?
Speaker 2:How do you define what kind of gifts that you get for your loved ones?
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm just a little bit of a fan and I kind of wanted to get some advice and think, because I kind of I don't like, okay, family it's I don't see them regularly, it's only, like I said, like on holidays, for Thanksgiving and Christmas really, and sometimes on birthdays. Sometimes I'll send something if I'm able to, or, you know, if I'm there for the holiday or actually this year, I'll probably send my mom with the kids gifts to take down there with her when she goes down, which I've anyways. So, when it comes to I'm all over the place. The gift guide on what I wanted to give like for work, let's start.
Speaker 1:Let's start, let's get, let's section this off, okay, because the gifts vary. There's gifts for your like work white elephant or secret Santa or whatever those are called. So I kind of want to loosely touch on that. I also want to discuss gifts for like friends miss, or like the, the friends white elephant, where it's like these parties, like we just went to, or like, though, those inner circle friends that you want to plan for which I have a lot of about, and then, of course, like the family. So, when it comes to like the work situation, do you have like a work gift exchange. I have in the past.
Speaker 1:Okay. Is there something set up to happen again this year?
Speaker 2:Or is it different? I absolutely hate a work, gift exchange with the passion, right Right Same. What are your reasons? I have mine.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I, we do completely different things. Yes, and it's it's for the, for the company one that we just had, that's it's. It's not that's not what we do, but, like on our local office or my immediate office, we like to do a little something, whether it's a lunch, you know that that is is bought for, for, for us, and then, like we'll do. I kind of have always recommended, like a white elephant versus a secret Santa, the secret Santa's before I'm like it's work. I'm not, this isn't who I am at work. They want to get me something rainbow because I'm gay, or you know. They want to get me something like, really slowly, that I'm just like it was a waste of money and I'm not gonna like, I'm not gonna use it or keep it. You know what I mean. And and for For my industry that I'm in property management, we're all tiered very differently in pay and I know some people could afford 20 to $30 or they could only afford 10 to 20, or even that is gonna be Hurting someone who has a family or kids or things that they need to.
Speaker 1:I'd rather they spend the that on them. You know the typically like in the past, the super, the, the manager, the person, the, our supervisor, would each get us all something and then we would do like a little white all-up and exchange. So it was. It was from her for money, and then, and then you know, our budget was $20. Someone would be like 30 and I'd be like, let's talk it down, let's, let's do, let's do 15, let's do 20, because I know, you know some one of the maintenance people who don't make as much money as as the office staff or whatever, they won't be able to. You know, they're their families come first. So I, that's why I I hate it and I always come off as the the scrooge or the, the, the Grinch around the holidays, because I'd rather be the mean one that doesn't like celebrating for the benefit of them. So that way it's me saying you know, I don't want to do it, and versus them, because they're they're not gonna say no, I'm the outspoken one that always does it, so I don't have a problem with it, and secretly.
Speaker 1:And then what do I do? I Get everyone a little something, whether it's a little candy or it's a little. It's a little something that that I end up doing, and it's in secret, I don't make the big thing about it, or it's like a little $5 Starbucks card that only gets like half a coffee. Really economy, exactly, you know.
Speaker 1:And I just I don't mind being the Grinch for that, because I just I remember when I was younger and being forced to participate in this, and I was like I kind of I'm gonna say yes, so that way I'm not the only one not participating, but I didn't. I would have rather that gone to someone else. Right, you know, that's, that's, that's, but that's me. You know what I mean, and and and some, and again, someone's like trying to like up it and I'm like no, I like let's how, let's do a lunch, like like. And this happened for my, my current office staff, because now I'm in the supervisor role and I'm like we're not doing decorations, we're not doing any of this. I already had like trees on their way and ornaments.
Speaker 2:You know that I was gonna.
Speaker 1:Have everyone set up. But, like, because they started talking about Gift exchange and this and that and I could see some people Get a little quiet over it and and I don't want to put them in an awkward position, so you know, that's just where I come from and the way I do it To kind of again give, give, give peace of mind. For that I'd rather you spend your money either on yourself you buy yourself that gift, that that you were and said like if, if you were already planning on spending that $20 on a co-worker and you set that aside from your family, and that that go by yourself for really good lunch, or go by yourself a gift or something. That's. That's, that's for me. That's how I see it.
Speaker 2:I can't stand office gift exchanges. And if you have a great relationship with your coworkers or supervisors or subordinates, I am, I'm very happy for you. Like yourself, I am in a supervisor role that I have been for a few years now and I don't want to have to buy so many gifts and I kind of feel that it is just Expected of me because I am the right, right and then also they think I can't just do as a supervisor, I can't just participate in a regular exchange, because people do look at well, how much money do you make, kind of thing, right, so I can't send that. If I do have a couple of really good colleagues that have turned friends, I will gift them privately on the outside of the office, but I don't like participating gift exchanges. And also, how many people do we know that Go to work, they do their job very well and leave and those people aren't their friends? Like you said, why am I gonna take money away from their household Right to get an insensitive $15 gift card to Starbucks?
Speaker 2:I can't stand those. Now, gift exchanges amongst my friends Do I participate if invited? And I can absolutely, but still not my favorite thing to do. Okay, yeah, I like gift giving when I feel it's, it's Natural or what's the word I'm looking for, like not all geared around the holiday. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:right, right, I'm looking back.
Speaker 2:I haven't done it a lot lately. This whole year has kind of gone awry, just and differently. But in the years past I'm often giving gifts or just because, and sometimes it's like I'll pay for dinner or don't worry about this. You know x y, z, I think the other day the most recent one, just because, is one of them a Friend of a friend, what are those called? The chains that connect to your so you can wear your sunglasses as a necklace or whatever.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, sure whatever he had brought a pair from somebody. He really liked them. He's like, oh, he's really cool. I never thought of like wearing gold. And he brought it for like four days because we're at an event and then he gives them back. And so I looked it up eight bucks eight bucks, an Amazon, it's boom order. Here you go, yours. Yeah, I know you like them, just because enjoy it. Whether he uses them or not, I don't know, nor do I care. I was happy giving that gift, that was it. I don't like going around the holidays, except for birthdays and being like Well, what do I get this person? It was never on my mind before, but because it's Christmas time now, what do I got to get right? And then I feel like I'm just getting a gift because it's just for Christmas, not because I truly cared.
Speaker 1:Right, you know it makes a hundred percent sense. And you know, I, I Don't I I don't know what the word is and you'll probably tell me but, like, whenever I'm shopping for others, I Buy something for myself. I, my god, I put myself first. I'm like this is my hard-earned money. I want something to. Yes, so I hope I know I'm not the only person that does that, but like, I like the amount of money that I've already spent this holiday season on myself and the list of names that I still have to get for it is there's no. Like I I was shopping.
Speaker 1:I like, while I was browsing for them, I was actively shopping for myself. So I I Like with the kid I don't know what to get my nieces and my nephews I'm so confused on what to get them but like I'll be like perusing through like different One, amazon because it's easy. And to like just different, like little hip stores that kids like I don't know and I'm like, well, I need that and I'm shopping like for Amazon basics for myself, because you know what it means. Like whatever and I, so I think I'm just going to like, just do Cheesy, like I'm just gonna give my mom envelope card cash and I'm that uncle this year, okay, and they're all. Just get there. All all the kids are giving me a cash For my siblings. They are, yes, dad.
Speaker 1:You gonna give me cash, nice try. No, ew, I'm younger than you, okay, okay. So and then for like siblings and like my mom, I don't know, so those are like more hard ones. You know what I mean, that I'm really putting like thought and effort in. And for the gift-giving for my friends, like, hey, if it's a white elephant, then great. Or if it's like a group of friends that are like, oh, hey, we're going to do a gift, we're gonna exchange names, great, then it's only one part I prefer, like hey, let's do a name exchange. And because I'm also that person that if I get this person something, I have to get this person, this person, this person, I have to get all these people and us being single. When it's a couple, do you do a couple gift or do you separate? I do a couple gift.
Speaker 2:So no, actually no, there are stipulations. If they live together, I will do a couple's gift. If they live separately, I might do I would have done before is like a gift card and reservations to like a restaurant, something they can do together. Okay, I'm not gonna get them both something separate. God.
Speaker 1:Right, no, I mean, but it was kind of like sometimes expected no, and it's like no, no, no, no bitch, you guys get away with giving one gift from y'all, yes, so I think I'm gonna get like. Maybe we should be like oh, this is from the Dose of Delusion card, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll co-sign to that right now.
Speaker 1:Right, I think let's write this wave while we can. Yes, in this economy, exactly so. But yeah, how do you feel about it? And what about you?
Speaker 2:How do you feel about matching gifts? And the reason why I bring this up is because a few things kind of pop out to my-.
Speaker 1:Okay wait. Elaborate with me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:When I say matching, I could see why you would think like similar, similar. No, I'm talking about a value. I had a friend and this actually really disappointed me. So I had a couple of friends that were really into the NFL, has some sort of collaboration with like a hoodie and teams, and it was like a military style hoodie that represented football teams and it was that sounds expensive. Yeah, it was either $149 or $199 for the hoodie and what did this friend give you.
Speaker 2:No, no, my friend really, really wanted it and I'm like I know he wants this, he's gonna love it. It's a bit pricey. He's an amazing friend. I'm gonna get it for him right, and I did, and I got it for him. Well, here's what happened. They made a mistake and they sent me the wrong hoodie, but it happened to be cause he was a Patriots fan and they sent me a Falcons hoodie and that was my other good friend's favorite team. I'm like, oh, so I called them back. I'm like, hey, you guys sent me a Falcons hoodie by mistake, don't worry, go to charge me for it, but I need that Patriots one. And they're like our apology, sir, we're gonna send you the Patriots ones, you can keep the other one. Fuck yeah. So now I got my other friend her favorite team's hoodie. Cool, she got this hoodie and she was like, oh my God, how could you spend so much on me?
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna tell that I got it for free, right. But I'm like Bobby, I love you, it's yours cool. My birthday's. Three weeks later she got me. It was embarrassing. I had a party at my house with my close family, my close friends. There was maybe 15 of us there. That was it. She was there and everybody got me decent gifts. My mom got me a couple of nice things, one of my friend groups, what they always did. I love that they do this. They always pull their money together and get a really nice gift, right. I love that. I mean, I've gotten Yeti coolers, I've gotten Canon cameras because they pull their money together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fine, but that's for birthdays, it's easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah right. So I got things. And then I started opening Bobby's gifts and I got Reebok shoes, I got four or five pairs of under armor shorts, I got Lulu lemon workout shirts, I got beanies, I got gloves. And as I'm opening every additional gift that's from Bobby, everyone's like what the fuck is going on. Because she had to be damn short, she told me I had to make sure I got you the same amount of money and things that you got me for Christmas. Oh, that's another thing. I had already bought her a few Christmas presents before the hoodie mix up. You know what I mean. So she had went into research prices and got the total and was calculated how much I spent on her, or how much she thought I spent on her, and then had to match the value of what I got for Christmas. And so now I'm thinking, if somebody, aj, were to just buy you a lot of gifts to match what the assumed value is that you got them, does that even feel personal?
Speaker 1:Yes or no. I love that energy, and if I'm spending that much on you, I mean spend some of that on me too.
Speaker 2:Is that wrong? It's not wrong, but I don't give. Oh, this is a loaded statement. But like I don't give to get the statement in return, in some aspects it's a loaded statement. You can use that against me in the future. I promise it's okay, but I'm saying I don't.
Speaker 1:But no taking that I'm doing right now.
Speaker 2:Producer is locking in the timeline on this right now Record. I don't necessarily give expecting like that in return in many aspects of life, so I just felt that was insensitive. I'm also thankful she pretty much replenished my entire workout wardrobe, but I was like you know, do this because you cared. You did this so that you could match what I did for you.
Speaker 1:So I mean on how it's presented. I wouldn't have said it that way. If someone spent something on me, I kind of feel obligated to return because that's who I am as a person, and I would have maybe not penny for penny, dollar to dollar, but if it was something that I knew was over $100, I would get maybe not an equally extravagant gift. You know, like that I would give a very nice thoughtful gift and continue that on with and we're gonna go have dinner, and you know what I mean, or like, because I don't know, I don't wanna be indebted with someone.
Speaker 2:Allow me to contradict myself right now, because and this is a direct contradiction, but you'll see why I'm just gonna tell it anyways I have an acquaintance. She's a friend of a friend, so I got I think gift cards are a little insensitive, right but I didn't know her that well, and so I got her a gift card. I got her a Starbucks gift card, but not just a gift card. I got her, like a gift card, a mug, the coffee and chocolate covered almonds little care package and I put 25 on a gift card, 25.
Speaker 2:Okay, she knows I love. There's a diner here in El Paso called the Villagin, Love the Villagin. And she got me in return. She was too busy to shop for the holidays, so she did. She got everybody for Christmas, so she got everybody holiday gifts which were after the new year Cool, I don't care. So after the new year, so at least a week after she'd opened my gift, knowing that her gift card was $25 and everything else, she got me a gift card, the Villagin.
Speaker 2:So I'm going out to eat with a friend at the time and we go to pay and I'm like here I wanna use this gift card and the lady says, do you know how much is on it? I'm like, oh, probably 25, because I got her 25. And she swipes, she's like it's 15. And I'm like, bitch knows, I got her a $25 gift card. Bitch, bitch. I was like tell me you hate me without telling me you hate me. But I just that was gift card, literally monetary amount, gift card for gift card. But I thought that was really funny, I know it's kind of different.
Speaker 1:I would have made it for like 30, to include the gift that came along with it, or 35.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, something like that, but a bit of a lot.
Speaker 1:And again, because that's me and if I'll get you, get me, especially if I know what it is but if it's like a surprise exchange type of a thing, then and I then find out that it was way more was spent on me, I'm gonna be buying you drinks that weekend. I'm gonna be like, hey, let's do lunch, just like, but like casual. I'm not gonna make it seem like, oh, it's because of the gift that I got, I'm just gonna like be more. I'm gonna want to like shower you with and I show my love by gifting and giving gifts. I was like I also shower so like like if it was, if something was given to me and then I felt like an idiot because you got me a beautiful whatever and it was like expensive or whatever, just like, you know, even like 30 to $50. And I got you a $15 gift card to Starbucks or whatever.
Speaker 1:What I would do.
Speaker 1:I would, one, feel like an idiot.
Speaker 1:I would be like so appreciative and thankful and not like not bring up what I gave you, but I'd be like, oh, and let's we thank you so much for the gift, but let's hang out soon, let's do lunch soon or whatever. You know what I mean and it's a little different for us because we see each other a little bit more regularly but like, for instance, I would be like what are you drinking, okay, no, no, no, no, I got this. And da, da, da, da, until I felt probably more so than what the gift amount was, because I'm also shamed, so I'm also like overdoing it to make up for the thoughtful gift that I had received. And then I was just like no, and I'm not. I'm really not that good with with with holiday gifting I'm terrible at it. But like birthday gifts or like just because gifts when I'm feeling sweet on someone or whatever I'm, that's when it's like more attention and thought is put into it. But typically what I do for my friends is okay, you like vodka, you're getting a Tito's.
Speaker 2:Love that.
Speaker 1:Oh, you like. You like tequila, okay, you're getting whatever you know custom egos, whatever. You know what I mean. So, like with friends, it's typically liquor related because I know my friends and it's it's easy to do it that way. Or like, like some of my past year friends, I'm like, okay, like a nicer bottle of wine versus the you know typical 12 to 15 that I'll buy. I'll put like a $25 or $30 bottle of bread and be like here. And then typically what they end up doing is like oh, we'll have this together and I'm like will we so?
Speaker 2:Oh funny, I got my glass.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, aj. Okay, I am well one so glad that we had this talk, you know, just between us, because now I know that I have still time to go and update my shopping cart with your gifts in it. But no, aj, this has been phenomenal. This has given me a lot of insight and different perspective on maybe some very near future gift shopping I will do for my friends and closer loved ones. Aj, do you have any final thoughts for our listeners A couple of weeks out for a presentation I do.
Speaker 1:I just want to say you know it's and remember it's, now's not the time to be, especially from someone who loves shopping for themselves. Don't think about yourself, you know, think about everyone else and you know if it is a work situation, put yourself in their shoes. You don't know how much they're making. You know, like, like that you're, you're, we're single, we're gay. They have families, they have kids that they need to support. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Not everyone has our income or our what's the word? I'm looking for Disposable income that we have, that we're very fortunate to have. So I want to say think of others. You know I'm doing a, I'm getting a coat. Try, I've together for some. The winter's here and it's getting colder and colder, so by the end of the month I'm going to, I had involved my residents to to do a coat I do. You know what I mean? Just think of everyone else. I, I, I spend so much time thinking about myself that for this little short holiday moment, I, I do, I do like thinking of others. And so you know, and, and because I know my significant others going to spoil me and buy me whatever I want, which is me.
Speaker 1:My job.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:But but think of others and happy holidays.
Speaker 2:And happy holidays. Thank you all. We'll see you guys next week. Take care, bye, bye, bye.
Speaker 1:Bye.
