Dose of Delusion
Two professionals serving up witty banter, unfiltered opinions, and contagious laughter. Join us in Dose of Delusion as we dissect life's absurdities and navigate the world with humor and touch of delusion.
Dose of Delusion
Casual Encounters and the Dance of Relationship Ethics
The latest episode is a diverse exploration that covers the intricacies of relationship dynamics. The hosts reflects experiences, delving into topics like the balance between work and play, heartache from secret affairs, and challenges in non-traditional love. Personal experiences with infidelity, navigating open relationships, and the intimacy of casual connections are revealed.
Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to Dose of Delusion. It is me, your host, yours truly Jay, and I am sitting right across from the witty again for wearing spectacle.
Speaker 2:I'm quite respectable.
Speaker 1:Quintessential AJ, AJ, tell us everything. How are you?
Speaker 2:I'm really good. I am trying to get into the swing of things after an extended weekend from. It was Labor Day no, martin Luther, I'm okay. So I had a nice long weekend. You know, it's a little fuzzy. I do think that Friday was like low key, just like drinks, I think. No, actually it wasn't. I went out, I ran into some friends that I went to PV with and had a very long evening, and then Saturday I was supposed to meet up with some friends for a birthday thing that I was just kind of exhausted for and didn't want to do, but I ended up going and being a trooper and then hibernated Sunday and Monday. How was your weekend?
Speaker 1:My weekend's a little fuzzy also, but for similar things. I suppose you know we spent Thursday. We went to go support.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was so much fun.
Speaker 2:It was a cute bar. It was because you hadn't really been there before I went there once before, but the bartending service was not my favorite, but the bar was cute.
Speaker 1:I think once upon a time I had been in there when it was named something else, a whole different bar.
Speaker 2:I feel like it wasn't anything before.
Speaker 1:I swear I have been inside that place before.
Speaker 2:I promise you you probably have been.
Speaker 1:Well, we went there. It was great. We saw some great queens. Obviously we saw Christy, which Christy motherfucking waters. And that was actually just. I was really blown away by the performances. Those were some of the like more top tier queens that I've seen before you know, I think she.
Speaker 2:So that's new. They're starting this Thursday thing at let's Be Honest and they she's heading the show and I think finding the talent to come. And their thing was what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, where they mimic, or what's the word?
Speaker 1:I'm looking for Impersonation. Yes, impersonators.
Speaker 2:Yes, where she's finding these queens who specialize in that representation of the artist that they end up portraying and doing. And it was, it was fun, it was cute. The Beyonce was fab. She was really fun and I forgot her name. I'm terrible. Christy did Adele.
Speaker 1:Adele, she did it flawlessly.
Speaker 2:Her outfit, the lighting, the video you got.
Speaker 1:Which I can't. I cannot wait to show. I was also a huge fan of Selena, but that's just me, always diehard fan of.
Speaker 2:Selena Andri Andrews, I think, is her name, and she's that's her stick. She's from Corpus and she's been impersonating Selena for years now. And she's she's been like on TV and they've asked her to play like. She's very, very well, very well known in that and she's clearly she does very well.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah. I diehard Selena fan is. A lot of people from this area are, and I always talk about it. You know they're like her, Selena's legacy.
Speaker 1:I mean, there are fans that weren't even born when they weren't even born when she died and they have the same, you know love and passion, or love and passion that I have so obviously her mark is phenomenal and when I and I've seen many of impersonated that's not true, I've seen a handful of perpersonators before, but the one that honey Andrews put on, really, I was just like I'm here, mom, get the camera. I made it. I was super excited for it. But after Thursday, or still Thursday. So we hung out for a little bit and then you went to go be responsible because you're a professional. Yes, I did not. Oh, no wait.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, what happened.
Speaker 1:Well, so our friend joined us. Our friend, she joined us, marissa, and we had a great time. So after, after you had left, we're like you know what, let's go ahead and let's go back to our closer, to our side of town. And we got into Uber and we started chatting up to Uber driver and somehow we convinced him to come into the next bar with us. Like, just come, we go to this bar all the time. It's a cute little neighborhood bar, dive bar. Come out with us. And he's like all right, I'll go for one drink. And they had just one drink and that turned into a couple of drinks.
Speaker 1:And then I started chatting up some strangers who then invited us to an after and I told Uber driver I mean, do you want to come party with us? And he's like, yeah, sure. And he told us to God knows where, to some other side of town. It wasn't charging us, by the way, it was just driving us around. And then we get out to this house and I guess that person wasn't hosting an after that they'd planned. And I was like, well, we're just going to go home. He's like, well, I also want to party. This other guy was like I know of another place. I look at a driver and I'm like do you want to go, are you sure? He's like yeah, and he drives us to another place where we did abstain to God knows what hour and we had a great time. Uber driver just hung out there with us and just took us everywhere, brought us home. It was. I don't even know how that happened. Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:But it was a pretty, pretty late night Thursday, thursday night, good, and I did have to work Friday morning. Oh no, and I made it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I am a professional Professional.
Speaker 1:But I made it and that was rough and then I did actually, because I kind of went kind of hard on Thursday I did not go out Friday at all. But I did Saturday.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I had so much fun.
Speaker 2:What you do Saturday. I think you know we were supposed to connect and I was like, if I end up, you know, coming back downtown from that party in Castle Hills that I went to Right, but I didn't. I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 1:No, you did not. And you know, I kind of was expecting to have a good weekend anyway, because it was a three day weekend. Yeah, we were off on Monday, so Saturday night I was out for a while. We had a good time, I think I made it home. I had a pretty decent hour or nothing too crazy. Okay, we rinsed and repeated on. Sunday, sunday we had a Sunday fund day for a lot longer than normal.
Speaker 2:You know I when I realized that it was far too late Sunday but I was like expecting the freeze and so cold and all of that. And I started seeing everyone's like posts and stuff and I was just like you know, this would be the cute night to go out. I haven't Sunday funded in so long so I was just kind of like, well, I mean, I guess I'm here for it and I'm going to do it, and didn't unstate in bed.
Speaker 1:Okay, I, I'm sorry. I do have the backtrack. I forgot about something crazy that happened Saturday night.
Speaker 1:Go on, I don't know if you've heard about it yet oh my God, you're going to die, all right. So Saturday night we went out, we ended up at heat after hours and we were leaving because we were being kind of responsible, and me and a couple of my friends and we saw a guy out there wearing a really cool like a retro Nickelodeon jacket and I looked at him a couple of times I was like you know, let me go compliment his jacket. And I walked up and I was like I like your jacket. And he says come on. And I'm like I like your jacket. And he's like come on. And I was like oh crap.
Speaker 1:So I call my Spanish speaking friend to come over and he tells him and then we start talking a little bit and very broken. You know language. And next thing, you know my friend's like he wants to know what you guys are going to do and I was like we're just going to go back to where our friends placed. Do you want to come? And he's like yeah, so he comes with us. And we ended up having a few more drinks back at our apartment and having a good time. But we I mean, I thought I knew a little bit of Spanish. I was pretty confident that I did and I did not and he knew like no English whatsoever. My juice has been here for four years, oh, and he knew like no English and I had to have our friend translate everything. And I mean, you guys could connect the dots. Obviously, you know, he ended up coming back to my place with me, but with the translator.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, oh my, this translator had to translate every little thing for us. He was, it was just short of being in the room with us, oh my, but it was. Um, it was kind of hilarious because it's like I don't know the language, we don't speak the same language and we were trying to have our fun and we're following each other around because I think we're very confused on who's directing who where, and who's doing what.
Speaker 2:So was the word possible or active? Oh my God, okay, we're getting into.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because I do know that I've seen that before on the um on the apps Uh-huh, your favorite apps. I wouldn't say favorite, but on the apps, at one point, just based on things were happening and I was like okay, okay, let me go back to my eighth grade Spanish and my Duolingo. And I was like okay, and I was like you're Actival. I was like you're Actival, like this isn't going to work kind of.
Speaker 2:Thing.
Speaker 1:And then he switched up his tune and uh and yeah, but it was, it was so crazy. Now, this is where it got kind of.
Speaker 2:Also, I doubt possible and active.
Speaker 1:or on Duolingo, first of all let's just get that out of the way. So the next day Now it's Sunday, and I'm like get up, you know, get clothes on, Like we're going to go eat. So we meet up with the gang, we go eat.
Speaker 2:It's right here and I'm thinking, all right at some point, like go home and shower and change out of your outfit from the night before that is, nighttime clothes.
Speaker 1:Right, and I'm like go go home, and at this point you know, now it's just a joke amongst the group because he's still with- us. And you know people are like they're egging it on. They're having conversations with him and he is attached at my side, which, let's just say, in some weird role that we were dating. I don't like PDA very much, it's just something not for me. What?
Speaker 2:No, kevon. Okay, I have a comment after that. I bet you do.
Speaker 1:And he was just on my hip when we go from the restaurant to the bar and to another bar, and he would he like wouldn't leave, and I'm like, okay, all right, I just know my place when the roles are reversed, you know what I mean. And at some point I'm going to go ahead and excuse myself, especially since we couldn't speak the same language and he would not go. And then now my translators are like we're not breaking up with him for you. Oh, I love it I literally hate you guys, and they were.
Speaker 2:They were having so much fun with it, and then I you know what is it with you and these passivals that you keep on finding that will not leave your side.
Speaker 1:They don't call it the magic stick for nothing, Anyways.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to say anything.
Speaker 1:So yeah, he, he, he, like wouldn't leave. And now we're all joking about it. And I mean, the language barrier is so strong that can literally joke about it right in front of his face and he wouldn't know. He has no idea what we're talking about. So, oh, stop, oh stop, no. And it got to the point where I just had to leave the bar. Okay, I don't want this çalışer face and leave him there. You know, look, everybody else left, they moved on, and I'm like I don't necessarily want you to like, follow us anymore, and I just had to get up and excuse myself and that was the end of that.
Speaker 2:You did, john. Does he have your number no?
Speaker 1:he did not have my number, thankfully, not that it mattered. What am I going to do? Google translate every text.
Speaker 2:No, but I mean, he was lost and didn't know where he was. You left him.
Speaker 1:He has apps on his own phone where he can call a car or call a lift or an Uber.
Speaker 2:They're not in Spanish or in English.
Speaker 1:He has his own phone, but no, it was. That was a pretty fun and adventurous Sunday which I had a great time. We ended up, you know, sunday Sunday, maybe three day weekend more people were out. We went back to one of my favorite bars, saw a lot of friendly faces, had a great time, hung out with one of our mutual friends for a while, but to think I texted you about you were a beautiful topic of conversation, oh yes.
Speaker 2:I did text you that. Yeah, I don't even know how he got on that subject. I saw it the next day when I woke up. Because I was. I went to sleep super early on Sunday. Good for you.
Speaker 1:Much needed, absolutely. I did not. I shivered, it was cold.
Speaker 2:I cried because it was so cold, oh my.
Speaker 1:I don't know how, I don't know how it was.
Speaker 2:Do you not have a heater?
Speaker 1:No, we like we left. We left the bar and I thought we were getting in a car to go home. And then my friends are like, no, we're going to walk to a water burger. And I'm like, are you could say no.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding I could have, and like it's only a few blocks away. And I'm like, are you, are you fucking kidding me? And I'm walking and it's 20 degrees with, with a wind chill on top of that, so even colder, and I am shivering, I am freezing. My friend looks at me and she's like are you crying? And I was like I'm so cold I just don't even know how to comprehend anything, did you not?
Speaker 2:have a jacket.
Speaker 1:I did have a jacket.
Speaker 2:OK, did you not have like fur?
Speaker 1:Not all of us can be you, aj oh. I'm sorry, and I was just thinking there's no way I'm going to be able to handle going on my my trip. That trip from Boston goes to be in Iowa, yeah, where it's you know, 47 below, with a wind chill, yeah. But I think the universe saw my tears because not two days later I wake up to a text from my boss that says the Iowa trip is postponed until April.
Speaker 2:Oh good.
Speaker 1:There's no way I was on hand to Iowa. I was crying in 20 degree weather.
Speaker 2:Isn't it a very long trip that you're going to?
Speaker 1:be there. I'm only going to be there for a couple of weeks, about two, about two weeks total.
Speaker 2:So you're going to give me your ticket to that solar eclipse event, that's happening, so it's funny that you brought that up. Yes, I'll say thank you, it's my birthday. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. So sweet, since you're going to miss my birthday also.
Speaker 1:I think I'm going to be able to make both happen, but I'm not quite sure yet. I still got to work on some logistics. But trust me, I'm going to make sure, If I can't make it, you will be like you usually are will be one of my first thoughts of who?
Speaker 2:can take that first place, you know. So hopefully it does work out, you are able to go. Would I go to something like that? I'm not a festival person, so I don't see. I mean the idea, or just to have a ticket to be like mm-hmm. But, I probably wouldn't go.
Speaker 2:They were expensive, so you better go no no, no, no, but like I mean, depends on who else. You know what I mean. If there's like a crew, if there's like indoor plumbing, if there's like situations like that, I'm all in, but like With a lot of contingencies. Absolutely, there's like tents. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:I would expect nothing less, but yeah, so if I can make both work, I will. If I can't, I'll have to go and give up my ticket, which is a bummer, because it was a very, very pricey ticket. We made a mistake and purchased a VIP ticket which was twice the price of the regular ticket and after reading the fine print we realized there's not much of a VIP Like that's tied along with it and it literally is almost twice the price. So I was a little bummed that if I can't go and have to offload that ticket, there's no way I'm making my money back no way.
Speaker 2:Which?
Speaker 1:is really frustrating, but hey, you live when you learn.
Speaker 2:It is what it is.
Speaker 1:It was a lot of fun. Anything else that you did other than rest and recover.
Speaker 2:No, so it was my friends. Ok, so it was a gathering of swords at a house and it was just like I was expecting, like a little cute little birthday. And then like people want to go out or something. But no, there was like DJ music. There was, I'd say, close to like 50 people inside a home and I mean it was a beautiful big home or whatever, but it was very, very packed. And I was just, I was exhausted from Friday. I just I wasn't mentally where I should have been for that fun party.
Speaker 1:But I saw a good time and sometimes, like I think I've been at parties like that where I walk in like what, we're going to be here all night, which is cool, especially with the fact that it wasn't, I would imagine, near the bars. We didn't really go to Right, so it wasn't like let's just go four blocks and end up at our watering hole. It was going to be a trek, so I probably would have just stayed as well. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That is what entered happening, but I ended up leaving. I'd still say late-ish. It was around like between two and three-ish Is. When I left, I looked over to my friend and he was like passing out on the couch and I was like, are we leaving? And he's like yeah, and it was his husband's birthday shindig, mixed with like another Capricorns. So he was like, well, if he wants him, you know, I was like it's time to go, let's go, I'm tired.
Speaker 1:So are you at the disposal, like as far as like I mean, I know, you could have got your own car.
Speaker 2:I did have my own car, but I just wanted to walk out with someone. I don't blame you. No, I feel the same way.
Speaker 1:Some sometimes or usually, I just do my little Irish goodbye and just dip, oh, my favorite. I know I'm my favorite. You've done a bit for it. I know I'm sorry. Where's AJ? Where's AJ? I'm?
Speaker 2:always like I'm going to go get some wine.
Speaker 1:And then I just did something. Wine looks a lot like his home address, but OK, well, I didn't say where the bottle went. Like rest up, sweetie, rest up, I know.
Speaker 2:But I just have to do that because I get easily convinced, like last time, when I'm like, please don't ask me to do anything, I'm not, I don't want to go out, I want to chill, I want to unpack, and like no one even asked me, I just see like a text and I'm like because I'm going to have to go Now, I have to go Now.
Speaker 1:I have to go. Can't let that FOMO set in. Oh, I hate that Terrible. No, I'll be probably doing not that I like the necessarily like rinse and repeat every weekend. But a lot of this did boil down to birthday events. No, we went out on Saturday, started my Saturday with birthday events. This weekend I'll be celebrating my birthday it's actually tomorrow. So we'll be going out and doing some things over the course of the week and, starting with, you're going to come with me to that show tomorrow, right, thank?
Speaker 2:you for picking me.
Speaker 1:But yes, thank you. Like he hasn't said yes yet, I did. Person that texted him. He's like thank you for thinking of me. In my head I'm thinking all right, was that?
Speaker 2:yes, I'm going to say yes, no, yes, yes, yes, it's. It looks super fun. I'm super excited.
Speaker 1:I've been seeing like things about it and I had not, but I got these two tickets with a little VIP list. Our names are on the list Perfect. Hopefully they are still on the list when we get there tomorrow.
Speaker 2:There will be listen, I'm with you. There will not be any pages being flipped. They'll be like oh yes, right, this way.
Speaker 1:Of course, because your Kim, as you said, Exactly no, so I'm excited for that, and then we'll be just doing some other things over the weekend, have a small little get together here in my apartment Obviously a lot a couple of times, but you know I can't get too too crazy, but then again that it is my birthday and. I know I'll be in good company, so I mean whatever happens.
Speaker 2:I'm excited that I'm going to be spending it with you on your actual birthday because, as you know, I'm not going to be in town this weekend, which is why I couldn't make any of your events for the weekend. So I'm really excited to be spending it with you tomorrow.
Speaker 1:But I do have a question.
Speaker 1:So while I was out and about and meeting up with some friendly faces and having conversations, one of our mutual friends did ask me a question, and it all stood around the fact that this bar we were at had a go-go to answers, and it was very confusing because so the go-go to answer, who had pulled up when we were walking to the bar, had previously had relations with one of my female friends and she's like oh hey, what's up?
Speaker 1:And he's like, oh well, I'm here to pick up a friend. Come and say, hi, yeah, I'm here to pick up my friend, I'll see you soon, whatever. And then he's like well, come inside for a drink. And she's like I'm with my friends. And we thought that was the end of that, right, because he said I'm here to pick up my friend, which would apply that he's leaving. So now we're inside and we're hanging out at the bar. The go-go dancers come out from the back room, they hop on the bar and the go-go dancer was the one who my friend had had relations with, and so she was very confused and go ahead.
Speaker 2:No, I OK. Ok. The go-go dancer was the friend that your, the guy, was going to pick up, or something.
Speaker 1:So my friend was a girl.
Speaker 2:OK, is a girl Right, the one that you were with, and they had.
Speaker 1:I'll say, whatever they had hooked up in the past, ok, we had no idea that he was a go-go dancer or anything like that. Ok, and then next thing you know, he's on this bar out of gay bar having a good time, and I've known many of straight guys who are he said he was there to pick up a friend to kind of like blow it off or whatever, and then realize that y'all weren't going anywhere and was like, well, fuck it, let's just go in, I don't have to roll with it oh.
Speaker 1:I know, so it was very confusing to a lot of us, but we had a good time anyway. And then one of our other friends is like hey, well, I have a good question. Would you ever date somebody who was like a go-go dancer or a stripper, or an only fans creator or a sex worker?
Speaker 1:you know something like that, and at first I was like no, and then I said well, well, yeah, because you know it's a whole trust thing. But then I thought, fuck, I've actually never been put in that predicament, especially nowadays with like only fans, right? I mean, how many people do we know that have an only fans account?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I know Look up A lot. Yeah, I subscribe to me. I support local.
Speaker 2:John, really.
Speaker 1:But it's just like you know, I never would have considered dating Somebody that does that, mainly because opportunity hasn't been presented. Yeah, but if it was, I don't know what I would do, and I want to know what your thoughts are on that.
Speaker 2:Very much similar to yours, where you know I want to sound and or I want to be like you know, like I would never and be all pompous about it, but like I don't know. I mean I'm dating myself and I have an only fan, so what does that say about me? I?
Speaker 1:want to be your only fan.
Speaker 2:I have several. Just kidding no, I don't, I'm kidding everyone.
Speaker 1:I don't only fans up on the screen.
Speaker 2:But you know I will sell my few pegs anyways. No, so I would. Actually, I want to say that I would be able to date someone Because, going from an extremely jealous person, that has been one of my things that I've been trying to better myself on and grow from and Not be toxic about, and I'd like to say that I'm at a good place right now where I could confidently say, yeah, I wouldn't be jealous, but when plugged and put in that position and seeing it happen in front of me, the flames that would come out of my eyes and the daggers that would shoot out At both of them at the same time, exactly like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:See, and I try to also do that switch the roles or put myself in that role and think how would I react. And this actually reminded me of a somewhat similar experience that I had a few years ago, and I may have mentioned this before, but not in this much detail. I had dated somebody. We were off and on for a while, turns out I, unbeknownst to me, I was the other person. And then when I did find out, I was like no, I can't do this. And he was a. It was a head right, like he was married to, like a female.
Speaker 1:Of course you could do them well, and I was like, no, I'm not gonna do this, you know you're married, yada, yada yada, there's no poles. Well, hold on and then I didn't stay away for very long and then I felt guilty. Not for very long, but we were just off and on back and forth. As you know, I can't do this either I'm gonna be your side piece or I'm not. You know, you don't. Don't just cut me off when she's back in town. I think she was in the military or something right.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what it was. We met, we had a great time. It was awesome. Three, four weeks strong and that get ghosted for a few weeks. Then you come back and give me a big explanation like you don't know me anything, we're not dating. We go heavy again for another couple months and he'd ghost me. And then I find out, just do friends like, oh no, that person though he's married. I was like no, he's not. Showed me photos. I was like holy shit, right.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe they have like an understanding.
Speaker 1:They did not but ultimately, after you know a lot of time had passed, they did the whole. Let's have a baby to save the, save the marriage that didn't work turns out, you still gay.
Speaker 1:Baby is adorable though, but turns out he's still gay and then ultimately got a divorce. Cool, now it's years gone by. Him and I are actually single. At the same time, we reconnect and it was like, oh, this is, this is our time. You know, everything worked out, everything happened for a reason and all worked out, and so we officially started dating. Oh yeah, and it was great and we got. We were obviously pretty close with years of history. We were doing these little family things that his child and that was very a part of the kids life at that moment for those times.
Speaker 1:But what is that? Old saying goes if they can cheat with you, they can cheat on. Was it very long where I started hearing the messages from my friend saying, hey, we're seeing so and so on on grinder, on the apps, and I'm just like, okay, what are you gonna do? I'm like I don't know yet. Okay, and I thought you know, nobody likes that feeling. I've had it in the past. I was a cause of that feeling in the past and I was like you know, I've heard a few relationships, relationship experts say like you can't get everything from one person right and so that you have your spouse for a lot of things and then, or your significant other for a lot of things, and then you get other joy of your life from other people, but for some reason we all, but for some reason we always do the whole. You know we have to get that sexual. You know exclusivity from our partner as a maybe we don't have to get it from our partner, but we can get it elsewhere. So I thought you know what?
Speaker 1:Let me have this conversation with him in a rounded about way and I was like, hey person, you know, I travel a lot for work, you're gone a lot, we live really, really busy lives. You know, if there's something else you wanted to know, partake in. You know, maybe let's just talk about it. And he's like no, absolutely not, I'm not sharing you with anybody, not sharing me with anybody. I'm like, all right, cool. I'm like, well, maybe, that's you know maybe that's the only way.
Speaker 1:A little bit, yes, of course. So that's sure enough, you know. Another month or two goes by and I'm get the reach out for my friends again saying, hey, we're still seeing him on grinder, he's still chatting, so doing this thing. So I brought that to his attention and he's like oh no, that's this person.
Speaker 1:They're using me to cat, they're using my photos to catfish. Now I obviously attracted to like generally attractive people like we. I mean model right, exactly. But, as you know, I also find beauty in anybody, even people that aren't generally. I'm trying to be really nice to say that no one would use his photos to catfish. Thank you, but no one would use his photos to catfish anybody yeah, and so I was like, come on, you could have come on with a better life in that.
Speaker 1:So I tried out a conversation with him again. Hey, you know, maybe, maybe we can have a little monogamy plus situation Heart stop on his part, something. So then I just brought it to the tension.
Speaker 2:Question so would you be like oh, so you don't have grinder, let me see your phone? Would you get that crazy? I did not.
Speaker 1:I did not, but now I know that you would. Oh, I'm telling you, I see I didn't and it may be in my very naive or at that time thinking very mature, but my naive mind I'm just like, let me give it out because I think I'm fully ready to have some sort of monogamy plus thing. Xyz. I had the third or fourth conversation with him and he's I was like listen, now I did my due diligence right. I've downloaded the app again. I'm incognito. We talked about that before and so unless this person who is cat or who is using your photos to catfish people, is following us around Like I know that it's you, he's someone that admitted we came to and pass, and I'm just like we have anything to say, and he's like no, I'm like Well then, I guess we're done right. So there was no big blow up. I didn't have any hard accusations. I mean, I didn't need to see a phone. I knew it was on there.
Speaker 1:Yeah kind of thing. But the reason why I say all that is I'd like to think that I'd be OK with my partner being with other people, but actually haven't experienced that yet.
Speaker 2:So I think I won't Jumble only fans with being a go-go dancer, because go-go dancers and strippers have to flirt to make their money, whereas only fans.
Speaker 1:Wait, so they're not actually into me when I'm shoving dollars down their crotch.
Speaker 2:They love you, damn, they love you. So with with only fans, it could be like solo scenes or you know their feet or their jerking off, whatever it could be, whereas go-go dancers they're touching people, they're letting people touch them Like that would enrage me, like that I'm like, that's mine. Yes, he's coming home with me, but the things that would go on in my head, that would just run away with me, and those hours are so difficult. You know what I mean. Like I'm a nine to five I'm not and then I go out and have fun Like they need to be, you know, from nine to three am, or something, whatever though their hours are, and that's just kind of like I don't know if I could do that. Like I'd like to say sure, why not?
Speaker 2:And I have the most trust in this individual. Or like we need to have that conversation of how it's going to be and make those rules apparent, because at this point and one of the conversations that I've always had with my partners is I am monogamous. I don't want to Be with anyone but you. However, if I start getting thoughts about it, I'd rather just end it then, because that means there's a disconnect and we're not seeing eye to eye so I won't cheat on you. Once the talk gets there it's I'm going to end it so that way it doesn't go through the actual Physicalities of it and being a cheater, because that's never been me, because I've been cheated on before so I would never do that. So that always ended up being a conversation early on and I think that's only happened like twice because I've only had so, but like, and I haven't been dating anyone for the past several years now, so I haven't had to have that conversation.
Speaker 2:But I think where I met today, if someone was like, hey, this is how I make my income and their forthcoming, or I met them as that, I don't think I would date them. But I met and then or found out like, oh, they have an only fans. The questions I would ask and it'd be like well, do you do with other people? Is it just you? Oh, you used to it with other people. Okay, well, maybe Don't, or let's you know what I mean and have that kind of conversation, unless I'm getting like some revenue from it as well.
Speaker 1:A businessman always.
Speaker 2:Of course, of course you have to start managing the person to collect your 10% 30.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Wow, I'm really good at what I do.
Speaker 1:First-genre level. No see, I remember when I first moved here I had gone out and I was. I was just out and about and this one guy walked up to me and I was just a fresh face. Let's fresh me right now. Done been really doled down since then. But when I first moved here, this guy walked up to me and he was like you're hot, you're this year. I was like thank you, thank you, thank you. And he I guess his way of trying to like flirt with me was he pulls out his phone and he shows me his only fans videos and they weren't solos and I was just like, well, this is the opposite, like I'm turned off now. I mean, how are you going to show me videos of you hooking up with somebody else and say date me or come out with me or come home with me?
Speaker 2:Kind of destroy my whole, like this guy did.
Speaker 1:Exactly those are the videos we're showing. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know who you're talking about, I'm just kidding. No, I'm kidding, no. Off the bar, off the bar. Yes, I'm not going to throw this person under the bus.
Speaker 1:No, um, but no, I really thought about that because even now, when I'm on the social media apps and know everybody has, you know, their Instagram link to their grinder profile, from the Instagram it has their, their link tree or their Twitter and then right away, boom, boom, boom, only fans, and I have to admit that I that person's out of my mind at that point.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I thought well, shit like. Is that necessarily fair? Am I being immature? Is it a preference? Do I? I mean, I don't know if that's something, maybe I should give them a second thought.
Speaker 2:So and I mean again to each or own, I just think that where I'm at today isn't where I was, and I feel like I'm a lot more open to different things.
Speaker 2:If the conversation is, the conversation needs to be had. And I know several close friends who think they may have had a conversation but maybe didn't have an entire conversation, or one was adamant about it and the other just went along with it which you know who I'm referring to and they're no longer together and then ended up figuring out that's not for me, you know, and I feel like, until we're put in that situation and depending on the other person, that it's, you know it's it's every vibe is different. Every vibe is different. Every relationship with a different person is different. And you know, what you see in someone may not be the same thing I see in them, or you know, or vice versa. You know what I mean. So you're going to the, the me, and you become we, and then it's like both grow together and become different. So I think that today, if I were put in that situation with an only fans artist, entertainer, artist, artist you know I would.
Speaker 2:I would have to have a very serious conversation, but obviously if I knew they had an only fans and saw some of it, I'd be with them for a reason. Have you know what I mean? Oh my. Well, not like that Maybe a little so, but like, like I, I again I think the whole dancer thing I think I would definitely draw the line at, unless they're doing like the Las Vegas show down under or whatever.
Speaker 1:That I could put up with a lot for the, even if you're on the board of the American ballet.
Speaker 2:I am so, but but you know what I mean. Like that's completely different, and I think like a stripper for women versus like a go-go dancer at a gay bar is very, very different.
Speaker 1:You know, at a friend he was a roommate of mine a few years ago who? He was a gay. He was heterosexual, very straight, very ally also, but he was a go-go dancer. A go-go dancer and shot boy at a local gay bar back in my hometown. Very, very popular, beautiful physique and you know, I don't think any of the girls he was dating had an issue with it at all. But I just don't know, like knowing like what, if? What if it was a? Well, we are gay. So like, how would you do it If, like, I mean, if he was a gay go-go dancer? And they already said that, attention into grabbing and touching, and you know they're out on all hours of the night every Thursday, friday, saturday, sunday.
Speaker 2:But that's what I mean If it were. If I were in a relationship with a male stripper who was a stripper for women, I would much easier go along with that than a go-go dancer at a gay bar.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Because there is a big difference there's. There are married women who are trying to get away from their husbands and children, whereas these are men who are horny, who want to do something or want more, or may offer a little bit more for a little private. You know situation and if I am with in a relationship with a gay man who has a beautiful body and is a beautiful man and has his moves and knows that he could make a lot of money by just teasing women, that is completely different than go-go boys for dollar bills on a bar. Okay, and not putting anyone down?
Speaker 2:Because I actually have. I had a baby crush on this one. He had like a little baby face and a huge butt and I he was there for a little bit and he was actually doing that while he was going through school and then I didn't see him for a while and then ran into him and was like hey, I think you used to, did you use a dance set? He's like yeah, and he was a little smile and I was like oh, wow, where why'd you stop? Or whatever. He's like well, I finished school, I was doing that for school and I was like that's real.
Speaker 2:We actually do that. So we worked at Big U so you could go to school, good, and he did. You know what I mean and so I appreciate that and I respect the night, I respect the hustle and I get it. There's no but again. If I were dating, if it was that kind of situation, scenario completely different in my opinion, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, let me ask you this, Let me circle back to me and my, my former would you ever consider being in a monogamy plus style of relationship?
Speaker 2:So I think in this day and age I used to not be and I've just been I think, with the times today, there just has to be an understanding. There needs to be an open dialogue, communication and rules firmly set in place. And once you deviate from those set rules, that's where the problems lie. And some of my friends have a open discussion without set rules and I'm like but you're not saying what you can and can't do, and I've been mediating. You know what I mean and that. So I'm coming from that point of view where I love these two individuals and I'm like trying to mediate and like okay, but look at it this way, see that. And when I'm like, okay, so can you or can't you, what can you do? Oh, he knows, and I'm like but does he? Because I'm looking at it, it looks like he doesn't. What are they? How about you tell me what they are? So why understand? And that still couldn't come through.
Speaker 1:And be said.
Speaker 2:So they may have had a discussion, they may have had assumptions, and that is something that I won't do and I won't put myself in that situation. I'm not gonna make an ass out of you or me.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Because I'm not gonna assume I'm going to. Okay, do we wanna do this? Okay, is it only when we're together? Is it when we're not together? And I don't wanna know. Is it okay if we're not together, not in our home, not in our bed? Whatever it is, the outline needs to be clear as night and day for it to work and for it to work properly and just talk. Open up that conversation. If you wanna try it, open it up and say it, because if you don't, once you start assuming. That's when the jealousy and the anger and everything starts, when it's like oh, did you say you can or can't do that? Well, he should know. Well, should he? Did you say it? Both? Both are at fault.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna take these rules and actually write them down. Dual Leap With Rules. Aj's New Rules no, those are great because I, like I said, like I touched on this a second ago, I do travel a lot for work. I'm gone a lot, I work odd, weird hours. I've also dated guys who do the same thing and sometimes I thought, well, maybe instead of you know, we have our temptations and of course, I can stay true to them.
Speaker 1:But when I tell my partners, hey, what do you think about when I'm not gonna be plus, it's obviously because it's something that I would like as well. Again, I have not experienced it yet, I don't know. I think I would be okay with it, but I like all the rules talk. I recently I think last year I got myself involved. That was supposed to just be a little bit of like three-some fun and ended up turning into something a little bit more serious and with this with the couple a very well-established couple and I remember during our first conversations because we had a lot of good, you know, I wanna say professional but not professional Conversations, like we had dinners and drinks before we got to anything physical you know just kind of establishing some sort of like ground rules and guidelines.
Speaker 1:And I remember they would tell me oh, you're like, you seem still just like, you're awesome and you're this and you're natural and so cool. All the other guys that we've ended up doing this with ended up turning out to be crazy and they just stopped talking to us and I was like, well, it's not gonna be me. And it was great for a while, but even vacationed briefly one time with them, until one of them started getting. The conversations went from like the group chat to just him, directly to me, and I was trying to steer it back to the group chat and it kept becoming, you know, just between him and I, and then it was the.
Speaker 1:You're truly something special. You're amazing. You're not like anybody else. I miss you. I think about you all the time and all I could think about was were all the other guys crazy? Or were you doing this to all the other guys and then not reporting back to your husband? Oh, I fucked up, kind of thing, and I ultimately even I really enjoyed them I had to step away because and maybe I shouldn't have the big enough balls to go to the husband and be like this is what's happening.
Speaker 2:But also I mean, is it your? You were one of many and is it your place to get involved in that kind of drama where you could easily step away.
Speaker 1:I don't think it is Exactly.
Speaker 2:And I'm glad you did the latter, because that's a very sloppy, slippery situation that, especially with a tenured relationship and you're the new one, and then that that's like it's like it could be easily misconstrued to where, oh, that's just, he's just jealous of us and he's trying to get like you know what I mean, like, and I, I don't, I won't get involved in that. You know, like, like I said at one of our other episodes, I, I'm the guest star and when I come in, I come in, I have fun, I do my thing, I, you know, we have a blast and I make sure it's a memorable one.
Speaker 2:Of course you do.
Speaker 1:For them.
Speaker 2:And, and then I step away and I leave. You know, and if there's any kind of drama or any kind of shit that that like, oops, I may have paid a little bit more attention to person A versus person B and started or caused some kind of like you know, conundrum for them, well then that becomes their own problem. I'm gone and, and I if, if I were to maybe venture into some kind of like thrupple situation, I would. It would be very, very, you know, walking on the nice, you know, especially if it was a very established relationship if it was, we were all friends and then it just kind of like naturally became something. That's a whole different situation that I just kind of like okay, well, that would be a little bit more, I would feel stronger to speak up about something. Or if something was bothering me versus oh, it's the couple and me.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, and that's, that's how it was. I was like, I was like interviewed.
Speaker 2:Exactly you know what I mean and, and, and, or. If it was like me and my longtime partner and our little newbie, I'd be like no, your place, Type of thing. I don't know, that's me.
Speaker 1:No, you're right, Cause that's I was. Like I said it was a very established couple. Like I said, I had like my little interview process. I made it to the third interview. I got offered the job. That's a little bit.
Speaker 1:Offered the role, I should say and and it. While it lasted, it was. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. They were a really great company. We had regular hangouts, casual hangouts, obviously our other fun and when it did get more of one-sided in the group chat, which just went to us too, I would try to steer it back. And then I pulled away initially at one point and I was like, hey, you know, this is getting too much. I really think you need to like figure out what's going on. Go back and talk to your husband. And he was like you know what? You're right, I'm sorry, this is all my fault. And I was like, yes, it is, you know. So, like figure it out. We laid low, or not laid low, like there was no communication for a while. Slow started reaching out again and I'm like all right, cool, is everything back back to normal? And he's like yes, yes, yes, never really got that. Confirm it.
Speaker 1:Thumbs up from the other person from the husband and I was like you know what, Let me, let me, let me get this a try again. We had the group chat going for like a week and right away it went right back to the same stuff, you know, and I'm just like you know. I'm now, like I said before, getting the realization that not all the other ones are crazy. Not all the other ones are crazy. It's definitely this one who's constantly falling for, you know, the third right, the bonus role, and, and it really sucked. It's something that I do want to try again, oh my God. Going back to the whole, like you know, me being busy and traveling so much, it was really nice. I had the relationship aspect that I wanted, right Without the commitment that was required for that, it was really great to have that while it lasted.
Speaker 2:You're talking about the cup with the thruffles the situation whatever.
Speaker 2:You know, and so I just think that, like with the, the whole couple situation and having someone like introduced in and everything I know I have several friends that are doing that and I know some that it didn't really work out, and then I have some that you know it's going along well.
Speaker 2:But I'm just kind of like you have to have so much love and trust for that person to be able to be okay with it and it'd be fine, you know, and there's just so many things that could go wrong with it and it's I want to say that I'd be open to consider something like that, but again I'd be the one coming into it so that way I could just peace out and dip out when I've been like I don't like this energy versus it's creating a wedge with someone that I have created my life with, and then all that just goes down the drain because of a moment that you know 12 plus years, and then like six months to a year, that was a good time in that time, but it just, like you know, caused something that you know, that wedge.
Speaker 1:That's what I don't want to do, but here I am.
Speaker 2:No, we're gonna have to but if I find the wedge, it's something different. Wedge away.
Speaker 1:Of course you would. Of course you know I'm not. I no longer talk to these people, either one of them anymore, once it reaches out to me occasionally, and I'm just very casual and cordial. I don't know why. Maybe I'm hoping for another opportunity in the future, but I just I keep it very, very chill.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very chill Good.
Speaker 1:I still don't know if I would be an only fans person, which I think I'm getting to that point because it seems to be, but a lot of people are getting into these days.
Speaker 2:Is that bad?
Speaker 1:I don't know, maybe I want to be a part of it. I don't need my 20% off the top but-.
Speaker 2:Normally 50, if I'm in it 50.
Speaker 1:Well, that only makes sense. I think I heard at one point that you know With only fans there's some sort of like I don't want to say contract, but if you have a, if you have a partner in it with you, like both have to be like on the account or something, something similar to that we might have to do a dose of reality.
Speaker 2:So collapse, so many collapse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right If you collaborate with somebody they also have to be an only fan, zuzer. You can't just, you know, have a rando on there and then record views them without that person having to releases. And.
Speaker 2:And whatnot.
Speaker 1:So that might. I don't know if I want to put my name on something like that.
Speaker 2:We're professional. In all aspects, no matter what no for a professional that to Contracts and everything contracts and da's airtight all of it.
Speaker 1:Well, do you really need an NDA if it's public? I Remember during, during COVID oh, I lost a lot of money over time. This is back when I didn't monitor my bank accounts. So what a time to be alive. It was during COVID and when everyone was you know what's the word I'm looking for Instagram Live-ing and all that stuff. I remember I had dropped, I had said something like you know, I support local, drop your only fans. And I followed or subscribed like all my friends Mainly females, right, just for funsies, ha ha ha. And like forgot about it. I completely forgot until, like the year year rolls up and I get my Bank of America email, pretty much like, oh, here's what you spent in a year, restaurant and dining, yada, yada, yada little pie chart. And it was like digital entertainment and I was like why is that? Like 40% of my of my pain, of course, a lot of. It was like my Netflix and.
Speaker 1:Hulu, but I looked at it. I was following like 12 only fans accounts and that's 799 a pop. A different prices, yeah, pop. Yeah, and I was like, oh my god, that they're just collecting this money off that haven't even logged into in a year.
Speaker 2:But did you reach out to him and say refund? No, I just canceled my subscriptions what can you get a?
Speaker 1:refund. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, they give us bad content unsatisfied. No, I mean, if they're your friends, I'm gonna be like girl, give me back my dues actually I would not do that, and the reason why I feel bad is during when the pandemic hit, most of my friends were all industry workers right bartenders. Djs, bouncers, only fans, operators or creators, and so I was so very fortunate to have my full-time income. That didn't change at all, so I would not have asked for a refund.
Speaker 2:They were still struggling. I was kidding, they were still struggling.
Speaker 1:No, you were AJ. What are other than us going to a show? What are we gonna see? I can't pronounce the name. Yeah, I can't pronounce it, but it is an all male Ballet. I keep want to say ballet. Thanks to what's her name? Mm-hmm, I can't remember a name. Say it.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, her, her, her, okay sudden sudden the board of the American ballet.
Speaker 1:I keep on say believe, but it's an all male ballet and Apparently it's also like comedic yes, so I'm pretty excited for that. That's on Thursday, yes. Other than that, what else do you have going on this coming weekend? You said you might be going out of town.
Speaker 2:I'm going to Dallas. Dj Nina flowers is gonna be Doing her thing, so I'm gonna go watch her.
Speaker 1:I know I, I found that out today. I was like, when I found that out today I was like, oh, that's why AJ can't join my events this week and I know he's a great support. You're a great supporter. Yeah, like, honestly, I I love that about you that you pretty much will do anything you can to support People, so I won't be doing extravagant other than you know, hey celebrating you.
Speaker 2:That is extravagant. Oh, that's so sweet. No, yeah, but that's about it.
Speaker 1:And then I got to go back to being a professional right away the next week, so I'm pretty excited about that. Anything else coming up, I will? Okay, I will look into the eclipse tickets. No no, no, you're not. You're not because I know, like the group of people that I'm going with, there are mutual friends of ours. You, you're gonna love them. You do love them. You didn't mention something earlier about plumbing.
Speaker 2:What's it again?
Speaker 1:plumbing today? No about. If there's plumbing there, oh, I don't think there will be no, that right.
Speaker 2:but there will be a Mobile home, there'll be facilities and we are gonna have some sort of, you know, like luxury camper situation.
Speaker 1:So if we can, if that's all set in stone and you do want to go, and I'll do what I can to make sure you get my ticket it's my birthday month and, depending on who's on that guest list, I made me not want to go. Not gonna lie, the guest list that expand without my knowledge, and I'm pretty sure I know.
Speaker 2:Shant be able to attend.
Speaker 1:No, I mean I wasn't to go regardless but, like I said, me trying to Balance these two trips back to back at the same time and cut one short. I have to figure out which one I want to cut short, because they overlap by two days. Oh, I see now decide what I'm gonna go to or not, but ultimately I do think it's gonna be a great time. I'm sure it will be. They say it's supposed to be like a mini burning man.
Speaker 2:I'm not a festival person.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wasn't until last year. Really, what kind of festivals have you gone to? I don't do festivals ever. No, okay, all right, well, I have. I love them. I am looking forward to this mini burning man because at one point in future I will attend the real burning man.
Speaker 2:I'm excited for you. I just need to like shower daily. But that's me, but that's fine Jay. Thank you so much for having me and I just want to tell everyone if you do want to decide on Opening up your relationship in any kind of third or fourth or any kind of way, have that conversation and ask those questions and make those roles, because If you don't, you're only gonna make an ass out of you and will not mean.
Speaker 1:But never you, aj. Wow, aj's been lovely. Thank you so much. I can't wait to tell you all about my birthday festivities and I can't wait to hear all about your time in Dallas, as per usual. So, listener, be ready for a jam-packed episode Next week and, with that said, aj, have fun this weekend.
Speaker 2:Thank you, bye guys.
Speaker 1:Bye, bye now.
