Dose of Delusion
Two professionals serving up witty banter, unfiltered opinions, and contagious laughter. Join us in Dose of Delusion as we dissect life's absurdities and navigate the world with humor and touch of delusion.
Dose of Delusion
Mental Resets, Grammy Glamour, and Hidden Desires.
In this episode, Jay and AJ embark on a journey to confront stress and find balance amidst life's challenges. Through candid discussions, they unveil their strategies for mental reset, including meditation and decluttering. They also delve into their past coping mechanisms, such as sleep evasion and stress eating, highlighting their efforts to confront adversity head-on. Transitioning to pop culture, they dissect Drake's leaked video saga and share their insights on Grammy moments, infusing their commentary with wit and candor. The conversation shifts to the complexities of relationships, exploring themes of affairs, forbidden desires, and the pursuit of love in unexpected places. Advocating for open dialogue and destigmatizing discussions around sexuality, Jay and AJ invite listeners on a journey of introspection and honesty, where every confession fosters understanding and connection.
Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to your dose of delusion. It is me, your host, yours truly Jay, and I'm sitting right in front of the posing, lip smacking, beautiful, quintessential, aj, aj. How are you Tell me everything?
Speaker 2:Hi, I'm good I am. It's been hell at work and I had a moment of overwhelming sensation yesterday that I just needed a moment to just like reset, regroup, meditate and remind myself that I'm in control of everything I do and everything around me. And I had to just have a mental reset and I kind of like told myself AJ, get your shit together. This is what you always do. You get shit done and you're going to prevail and get you done. So I had that moment yesterday. I woke up today refreshed. I had a lot of things on my mind that were just kind of running through and overwhelming myself with that. But this morning I woke up refreshed. I was on a new timeline and just kind of reminded myself on the path that I need to be on. So that's where I'm at. How are you?
Speaker 1:I'm actually really glad you said all of that, because I am right now very overwhelmed, and I'm not. Maybe I do need to take a mental reset. My upcoming move is just. It's stressing me out, and I think I am building a lot of stressors in my head that do not necessarily exist, like just with my employer, when we need certain documents signed by certain people to get the funding for my move and my move is happening a lot shorter and I'm worried that if this document doesn't get signed in time, though I will get the funding either before the fund is going to come my way one way or another, but if it doesn't get here in time, am I going to have to fund the move myself?
Speaker 1:Do I have to hire a mover? Should I pack myself? I don't want to pack myself. I want the movers to do it. I need to get rid of stuff. I've had two weeks to purge and I haven't done anything, because I'm hoping for this memo and I'm just coming up with all the scenarios in my head. That's giving me stress, and these scenarios don't actually exist yet, but I'm getting so stressed I'm just not doing anything.
Speaker 2:I'm just like You're overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then, when I get overwhelmed, do I perform well under pressure? Yes, but prior to that I just shut down and I take naps.
Speaker 2:So I think that thank you for sharing that and I'm like it kind of goes what I'm just kind of going through. So I'm going to give you my tips and I move like there's no tomorrow. I am property management, I live on site or you know what you mean or something of that nature, right? So I've moved around from property to property and I hate it. I'm the same way with, like you, I moved once and I was like never again, Exactly.
Speaker 1:Like what? Am I poor?
Speaker 2:Like I'm going to hire movers, I'm going to pay that overpriced amount because it's worth it, for the convenience of it. However, purge, purge, purge, it's therapeutic. It's like that show on Netflix where it's like does it find you joy or do you know? This Spark joy Like condo.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So I mean, maybe you need to do that. You're not going into the office, you're hanging out here all day. You have done nothing for the podcast, there's been no videos, and I'm blaming you.
Speaker 1:No, that in your absolute way and out, like I said, and I get it.
Speaker 2:You're going through an overwhelming moment right now. That's causing stress and that's just leading to the whole napping thing. That's depression. So you know what I mean. Before it gets to that level, have a little reset tonight. Meditate, remind yourself of who you are, get this shit done. You're gonna get shit done and be like I'm leaving. Why do I need this? Get rid of it. Purge Like you could buy another fucking outfit. You could like you know what I mean Like your things that you've had for years that you don't remember utilizing. Get rid of it. There's no need to take that across the country to have over there.
Speaker 2:This has been a part of your life that you're moving on from and that is when how I said I'm in a new timeline. It's not like, oh, I'm in a different dimension. No, I'm did a reset, I changed my mindset, so I'm already getting started in doing different things because we're in charge of our own lives, right? So, with that being said, if you have that mindset, then you'll be able to be like okay, tomorrow is gonna be different, I'm in charge of it, I'm in control. If I go left, it's because I chose to go left. I'm not gonna go right because, oh, I feel like that's what. No, no, no, no, no. You're in charge of what you wanna do, so remember that you're a bad bitch. You're gonna get the shit done and purge and get rid. Don't take this crap with you.
Speaker 1:I want to correct you on one thing. It is not depression, and I never really speak this little system out loud because I'm sure somebody out there is a mental health professional or just a medical professional are gonna come for me. How many people maybe yourself in the past, but how many people do you know that stress eats?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I've been doing that. Have you seen? I've gained so much weight.
Speaker 1:I can't tell if you have. But so, like in years past, I used to be a stress eater and I hated it because I was just eating on fucking stop, right. So I was like you know what, I'm gonna retrain my brain, and so when I would get really, really, really stressed, instead of eating I would chug like half a bottle on Iquil and go to sleep. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:I know it's this is almost as dumb as the clover Kardashian Windex on her food diet. But I would, when I was stressed, stressed, stressed. Instead of eating, I would drink Iquil and go to sleep. And I did that for a few months until after a while, when I would get stressed, I would naturally get incredibly sleepy and that's what happened. So I was really happy that I no longer stress eat. But now, when I get overwhelmed with stress, it is like cartoon goofy, droopy eyes. I have to hold my eyelids open, my eyelids open because I get so incredibly sleepy. So right now, no, I'm not going into the office. I should have plenty of time to accomplish all of my tasks and my hobbies and everything, but I'll get super, super stressed and I'll go from sleeping a great night's sleep and take seven naps during the day.
Speaker 1:I see Because I just physically shut down. But you're right, mental reset I have to. But other than that, aj, did you do anything fun, new, exciting this weekend?
Speaker 2:I don't think fun and new. I did go. I think I went to see I'm doing the viewings at Sparky's for Drag Race. So I've been doing that on Fridays and it's honestly really a blur because I can't believe it's barely the middle of the week and it feels like Monday, tuesday, wednesday have been like four weeks Like I'm just I can't.
Speaker 1:You know okay. So I went to that viewing with you and though I've watched Drag Race off it on over the past few years, I've never done a whole viewing party like that out of gay establishment. It was a lot of fun. It was like our little Super Bowl, our little football games.
Speaker 2:I should say with the finale being the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1:It was so much fun. I had a great time. I loved being in a very comfortable environment and seeing how many people are deeply invested in this TV show.
Speaker 2:It's really. You know it is really fun. I haven't kept up with it quite as much and it's easy to get sidetracked at those viewing parties. So you know I'm not giving it 100% of my attention, but it's. I mean, the girls seem interesting, so it's good. And then on Saturday we went to go for Drag Brunch. Christie's hosting it at the Christie Waters is now hosting at, let's be honest. So she now has her shows on Saturdays and Sundays there, where she was a pair more before. And you know there's just like some rumors going around that I really haven't put my finger on. But you know I don't, I really don't pay attention to like the local gossip.
Speaker 2:I'd much more be into the celebrity gossip.
Speaker 1:Celebrity gossip such as Drake, did you see, of course?
Speaker 2:of course.
Speaker 1:My Twitter thumbs activated as soon as I saw what was trending.
Speaker 2:And so, what are your?
Speaker 1:thoughts. So first I saw Drake trending, something was leaked. I was like, oh, he leaked another song, which I think we just talked about recently about song leaks and how I don't, ever since Beyonce dropped that album with full songs and full videos and like nobody knew about it and it was under wraps, and I was like, well, now, after that, when somebody leaks a song, I'm like I call bullshit and they're doing it for pre-publicity. So, anyways, I woke up and I saw from one of my many naps and I saw Drake's. Drake was trending. I'm like, oh, he dropped a new song. And I'm not necessarily a die hard Drake fan.
Speaker 2:It was music. You know a few bops that are like.
Speaker 1:But so, as I'm researching it, I was like, wait a minute, this isn't about a song.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and as soon as I realized what it was about, allegedly, yes, and I say allegedly because, as you'll hear, if you haven't already, so I found the video, and it wasn't even a picture, it was a video of Drake being exposed.
Speaker 2:Allegedly.
Speaker 1:I still don't think it's him.
Speaker 2:I doesn't look like him.
Speaker 1:And you're right, okay. So I still don't know how, when people first saw it, they directly connected it to him, because I did watch the video and there's a lot of movement and motion in it. It's a little bit grainy, it's a little bit blurry. I don't understand that. People can say, oh, that's Drake, but everybody didn't it, just assigned it to Drake and then you saw, if you haven't seen it yet, he on his story had wrote I wasn't hiding my meat from the world, I was hiding the world from it signed Boppy, and I was like, oh, he acknowledged it and that was going on all day yesterday that he acknowledged it. But then today I find out that that was doctored, that all he wrote was actually laughing emojis and people did their Photoshop on it and put that, so that actual him claiming it and acknowledging it was not the case. So therefore, drake still hasn't officially acknowledged it or claimed it as his own. But if I were Drake, I would wanna claim it as my own.
Speaker 2:Or I mean what if? It's actually smaller than his, so that's what he's like.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna claim that that ain't my name, it ain't that curved.
Speaker 2:Cause that was a curve.
Speaker 1:Well, the internet would save and Twitter would say. People were like, well, it wasn't, like it was obviously decently erect, but it was still a little soft.
Speaker 1:He was flopping it around like a vacuum hose, and so the speculation is if it was fully erect it would have been even bigger, and it looked pretty large in the video as it was. So if I were Drake, I would wanna claim it as my own, but let's say it's not his. You know the second he claims it as his own, and if it's not his, the owner of that penis will come forward.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, no pun intended yeah.
Speaker 1:Maybe got it.
Speaker 2:It was horrible. It was horrible Trying to make it work, but anyways, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that was definitely keeping me occupied for a while, going back and forth trying to read all the comments and the notes, and of course, people are hilarious. You can go on TikTok and people are already recreating the video with different objects from around the house, like a vacuum hose. Oh my, but that was pretty, pretty interesting and it's kind of funny that that's what took over the internet yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you know I I like Drake, but you know who I actually thought it was. I thought it was like someone, they were talking about it and they were like link, link, link. So I would like you know. Went down to the comments and someone did put a link but immediately I was like is that Maluma? Why are they linking Maluma to something about Drake? And you showed me the same video and I was like wait a minute, like so that was him, but it did not look like Drake at all.
Speaker 1:I don't see it. Someone freeze, like, did a freeze frame and like lightened it up a little bit so you could see it better. But even then I would say 50 to 60% of his face is covered. You can see a large majority of his forehead and that's about it. I still don't know how one person saw it and said this is Drake. I don't see that connection.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm concerning, but I do think somebody says it, probably some of the girls that like sucked it or something or fucked it.
Speaker 1:Well, clearly, whoever took that video whether it was Drake or not that video was meant to be sent to someone and that person whether they got hacked or what it was leaked. I doubt that his personal device, that I've doubt that that individual's personal device was hacked. We both know that whoever he sent it to leaked it.
Speaker 2:I mean, I would want to tell everyone look at what Drake said to me. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1:But no, that was interesting, that really consumed I don't want to say consumed a lot of my day, but I really did some reading up on that yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that was really. That was. That did kind of take some of my attention from the stress that I was at yesterday, so that was good Same. But actually it was. That was me today, when I like was like doing some of the looking at it. What else has been going on?
Speaker 1:You know I had a good fun weekend. Like I said, I did do the drag brunch, which I really enjoyed. It was really nice to see Christie Waters in a new environment. I think she did a fantastic job. I mean very, very high energy, love her performances, love her personality. I'm super excited for what she has coming up. I'm sure we'll hear a lot about that in the near future. And then I did. Did you catch the Grammys?
Speaker 2:I did not. I did see some highlights of it though. So you know, I saw like a few people who want stuff. I may have seen, I don't know, like a couple of things that like that, the internet took control of. I know Celine was there and then, you know, I think there was something about Jay Z and his speech and referencing again Beyonce, not like she was getting snubbed or something.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So did you watch it?
Speaker 1:I watched off and on while it was on and then, of course, like you, I saw a lot of the clips and everything after the fact. What's it out to you? A few things. First of all, I didn't realize that that was Miley Cyrus' first time winning a Grammy.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, she hasn't.
Speaker 1:No, she has not, she won. Then, of course, I did some Googling and she won two on Sunday night, but those were her first ones.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I believe she won for album of the year.
Speaker 2:Pull it up. Pull it up, let me see. No, please, please, fact check. Okay, so keep on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I believe she won like for record of the year then album. But I know for a fact she won something for Flowers. She was super excited about it. Of course she performed it. She ad-libbed during her performance.
Speaker 2:She did pop solo performance for Flowers, for Flowers.
Speaker 1:Okay, that was the Grammy.
Speaker 2:And then the other thing that she won was record of the year Flowers, I don't know what For the album Record. Okay, album of the year was Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1:I thought of record, record and album and splitting hairs. I don't know all those fine details I know. But I know she won. And then I thought it was really sweet because Mariah Carey was her presenter Right, and typically the presenter just goes the hands either they take a step back or they walk off stage while the artist gives their little speech, their little gratitude speech. But Miley gave her a little speech and she was like first, first, first, no wait, mariah, stay here. And then you should see Mariah's face. It's like why are you talking to me? Of course, her little force of smile.
Speaker 1:But then she tells a story. Miley tells a story about a little boy she had read it a long time ago who loved butterflies and always wanted to catch a butterfly. So somehow he got his hands on a little butterfly catching net and he went out and kept trying to catch all his butterflies over and over and over and over again and he couldn't. And so finally he just accepts defeat and accepts that he's going to love butterflies but never be able to catch one. So he just sits down and ponders on this. And it is when he sits down and kind of gives up on catching a butterfly, one lands right on his nose and he catches it, and so she goes. And this is my butterfly.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that, so I guess yeah like signifying that she's still going to perform music. She still loves it, still her passion, but she'll never win a Grammy. And then she won her Grammy.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:And I thought that whole butterfly connection to Mariah was super cute, great connection. Now I get. And if you watch Mariah's face during the speech because, like I said, first Mariah has this like smile, like why the fuck are you still talking to me? But then, when she started talking about butterfly, butterfly, mariah's face, her smile went from like polite to genuine and it looked, it was really sweet, it was really sweet. So, and then, of course, she performed flowers and she outlived during it, because it was her first Grammy.
Speaker 1:I thought that was really, really cute. I saw that. Yes, that was one of the moments that set out to me. And then Taylor Swift. Okay, what about that?
Speaker 1:So I noticed that when I was watching it, when Taylor first of all, I was like excited and a little surprised to see Celine. You know, she had to cancel her tour because of her stiff person's disease. It's not been going well. She's been going downhill. You don't really see much of her anymore. And then she comes on stage as the presenter of the award for that category and of course she looked stunning. Taylor wins and Taylor is super excited, if you ask me, I think she's a little too excited for this not being her first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh Grammy. You know what I mean. Of course you're excited, you have gratitude, but you would have thought it was her first Grammy. So she runs up on stage, she does her thing and she just I don't wanna say snatches, but she does just kinda take the Grammy out of Celine's arms and doesn't really acknowledge Celine. Not a thank you, not a hug, not a peck on the cheek, nothing like that goes on to her people and her speech. I didn't notice that and so did the internet.
Speaker 2:Okay, and See, I would have immediately. I hadn't read anything like that. I saw, I saw Celine had something to say and she looked very, you know, I thought she had a speech, but then I guess it was just like her giving out that award. I thought when I saw that there was something going on cause I was like that's clickbait, I'm not gonna click on that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I thought it was cause they were wearing similar outfits.
Speaker 1:Which she pointed out to me.
Speaker 2:They were incredibly similar, Very similar, Obviously except she had that coat or whatever over it. But the routine detail, like I wonder if it was from the same designer or something. But I thought that's what that was about and I mean maybe you know it was like maybe Celine was backstage like don't touch me, don't hug me, I'm feel whatever.
Speaker 1:Exactly and that's what Taylor and her Taylor's team had said. After the fact that Taylor was, taylor was like I was afraid to hug her. I didn't want to hug her because I know, everyone knows she has this stiff person's illness. So the internet obviously took storm with that prior to Taylor and Taylor and her team coming out with the reasoning. But yeah, at first I will be. I did tell it looked a little odd, but it makes perfect sense. Right? You know, I can imagine if I was Celine I'd be like no hugging me when you're that excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so those are the two things that stood out to me the most.
Speaker 2:So one thing I want to point out is I like looking at how people are dressed and what they're wearing and stuff like that. Beyonce's outfit was terrible. Somebody said that it was not cute, somebody had said that it's. I mean, just I mean it reminds me, oh my God. So the New York housewives win Luanne de la Saps when she was the Countess. She's having a conversation and she hears this like stomping, clomping down the stairs, and she tells I forgot what that housewife was. Do you remember her name?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, she had frizzy, terrible hair. She was like and you come oh, alex McCord.
Speaker 1:Oh, the OG, the OG, yes it was Alex McCord.
Speaker 2:She comes clomping down the stairs and they have a conversation about it, like over lunch the next day, and she's like and you come downstairs on those Herman Munster shoes and Alex McCord is like they're Louis Vuitton and the Countess is like well, I guess Louis Vuitton even makes mistakes. So I was channeling Countess Luanne and I was like well, clearly Louis Vuitton made another mistake.
Speaker 1:That, wow, that's a season one throwback to housewives.
Speaker 2:That was when I liked New York. Housewives was way back when.
Speaker 1:And I was never a fan of Alex McCord. And you know what, aj? We keep getting called out and I'm not even mad about it. In fact, that makes me wanna make more mistakes. We keep getting called out. Excuse me, I know One of our listeners had sent me a DM of a meme of like a frustrated Kim Kardashian. Okay, but the dialogue or the verbiage on the meme was like when somebody's only been watching housewives for a couple of years, tries to quote the housewives and they get it wrong.
Speaker 2:Excuse me.
Speaker 1:I know Well, maybe that was sent to you, but not to me, Okay well it was, and I was just like well, I don't care, I don't care, but that was an OG throwback.
Speaker 2:No, I Was never a big fan of Alex anyway, I know my housewives, I mean, I even saw like the one DC season. So you know what?
Speaker 1:I mean, oh, that original one. Yeah, I did see that one.
Speaker 2:It was that crazy girl and she was like when they were like, she was like it was the lentil soup, if I believe, or if I recall when it was like during the end interview and they were like what did they serve or what did they have, and she was like it was a lentil soup. So, like you know what it'll be like. I know, my chef.
Speaker 1:When they snuck their way into the state dinner and knew it was over, yes, I was like that's it, that's done, but yeah. So I did see Beyonce's outfit. I'm not one to actually look at all the outfits, but when I did see that I was like ooh, did you see the meme? Cause they got a picture of Meryl Streep leaning over and telling. Beyonce, something that's what you know, your daughter's name, and not just blue.
Speaker 2:It's actually Cerulean. Yes, I did see that. I was like, this is everything you know.
Speaker 1:I'm loving it so much, but that did speaking of.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry, no go ahead. Speaking of listeners sending DMs, I actually got a message and they were.
Speaker 2:They brought up the subject of married men and how they live double lives and sleep with other men and wanted some of our thoughts on that. And I may have a couple of things, but he was, like you know, in other countries I get it, but here in the US that's not necessary and gay men keep on allowing it to happen and are perpetuating it. So I, to go on with that, I have my story. I was very, very, very young I was probably between 20 and 22, cause I still lived in the Valley at that time and I had met this gentleman and he was this straight. I mean, he was a straight guy, you know what I mean and he would lead me on, for I think he lived up in Austin and whenever he'd go down, it was like when we would hang out or whatever, right, and so I was falling in love with him, like I was like, oh, you know, whatever, whatever I'm gonna find out he did. He was, I think, separated or going through some kind of divorce and I think even had a kid with that woman.
Speaker 2:I realized, you know, there's closet cases and there are straight men who do fuck around with guys, but they're straight. They will never have a relationship with another man, they're only gonna have a relationship with a woman. So I do believe, just because a guy needs to get off and gets off with another man, I don't think that's them being gay. That's just, you know, a hot moment of passion, whatever. Whatever getting off to whatever. But to me, to be gay, you need to wanna have that relationship, that companionship with the person of the same sex. So I was like at that time, because I did fall in love with him and realized he'll never be with me, I was like I'm never gonna put myself to do that again, so I will never be. I'll never let myself fall for another straight man. Now, if they wanna fuck me, that's gonna be totally different, but I won't let myself get to that point of falling for them. That is my story. On.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of thoughts on that. Okay, on the original question, because I have also been involved with a married heterosexual man for all intents and purposes and I loved it, even for a short amount of time. I would search for that and my reasonings though immoral and wrong in certain people's eyes were I can get very ambitious, especially when it comes to my career and whatnot, and sometimes it's the point to where I want some of the highlights of a relationship without the work of a relationship. And getting involved with a married man who had a lot more other obligations that weren't me allowed me to have the physical part of the relationship you know, a couple of times a week, the occasional sweet little messages and the occasional date night, without having to have all the other responsibilities of a relationship, and I found it perfect, let alone the thrill I got from being the dirty little secret. I even enjoyed knowing and being some sort of an acquaintance with their spouse.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. You know and see, this is where it goes to like the drama aspect of things and that's. I am not about that life. I do not want to deal with any of that kind of like. If you're with someone, no. If you lied to me and tricked me, shame on you. But I want no part as soon as I find out I, I, I just that's fucked up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, I'm not denying it. So I did that for a little while and then I did kind of pull back and actually I never really experienced any drama with, with and those other situations, which was good I didn't want there to be. And then, when I did pull back, I did meet somebody and it was great. We hit it off. I remember we met around the holidays because he even took me to friendsgiving, which is what I learned Never trust the friends. He took me to friendsgiving with all of his like long-term friends and growing as adults, right, and all the questions of how did you meet someone? So? And you know, um, oh, he's a great guy. You know, we've heard a lot about you, you guys are going to be so good together, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:And then he would ghost me for a few weeks and then he'd come back and me being mature because he tried to come back and give me like an explanation I'd be like, hey, you don't owe me anything, you know, just want to hang out again. Cool, we'd hang out again. We'd go hot and heavy and now I'm at friends, miss, you know, and the same thing. And then would it be good for a month or so Then he would ghost me and then he would run off and on for a while until one day I'm just chatting amongst friends about this guy that I'm seeing and, like you know, falling for, and as they're putting pieces of my story together like wait, are you talking about so-and-so? And I'm like yeah, and they pull up a picture and I'm like yeah, that's him.
Speaker 2:And they're like no, he's straight, he's married, he has kids and I'm like I feel like you've said this before. We probably talked about it off-pod, no, I think on.
Speaker 1:Oh well, so that happened.
Speaker 2:So cool.
Speaker 1:I was like fine, but I was like I don't want to do this anymore. I already had my crazy fucked up fun in the past. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not that same person. So I pulled away not for very long and then I went back. No, at first I called him. I was like I don't want nothing to do with this, I don't want the drama right.
Speaker 1:I couldn't stay away for very long. We ended up I ended up being the other person knowing good and well try to keep it as minimal as I could, and ultimately it didn't work out. They tried to have a baby to save their marriage. Turns out he's still gay and then it kind of fizzled after that for a while. But I don't understand the culture of it. I do think that sometimes, given I don't know the nature of the sex or the physical what they're looking for outside of their marriage with another man, it could it just be a certain thing that they're into that they don't want to ask this female partner to assist them with. Or maybe they do just have this animal innate desire to lie with another man for that small time being. So they step out on their heterosexual relationship to achieve that. I don't know if I judge them Not that I have any right to, but as someone who's been on both sides of it, even if I could judge them, I know that I shouldn't.
Speaker 2:And I think for me where I have the problem with and I hope that we're kind of on the same track that the listener wanted us to talk about so I think, whether it is a straight person who's in a relationship or a gay person that's in a relationship, when they're doing things behind the partner's back and they don't have that open conversation and have an open relationship and that understanding, I think I have a problem with that and I look down on that and I judge them on that, because I've never cheated on anyone and I always have that conversation of hey, if we ever start getting eyes for someone else, then we probably shouldn't be together.
Speaker 2:And that is a conversation that I've had with my ex and with prior people, because that's just, I don't think that's right. And in regards to gay men who just sleep with straight guys to touch back on that I don't have a problem with that because I'm not going to let myself fall for it. If they say they're straight, okay, then we could fuck around like that. But don't be trying to text me anything sweet, don't be trying to take me out on a date for lunch, don't be trying to do any of that emotional connection with me, because they could just be animals between us. You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean.
Speaker 2:Like that, then we could have that animalistic nature, like you had said for that moment. And then if you want to do it again later, fine, you know what I mean. But if it were to come out, oh shit, he has a wife or has a girlfriend, whatever, and that comes to light. And, king, never done by by, because I don't want to get put into any of that. That's y'all's drama, right, and that's why in like that whole three something. I'm the guest star, I pop in, have fun, do my things, and then I'm like bye and like if y'all have shit to discuss after that, then that's shit that y'all have to discuss. That I will not be a part of.
Speaker 1:You brought up two really good points that sparked an interest to me, the first one being you know, whether you're gay in a relationship or straight in a relationship, it comes down to the infidelity. Yeah, it actually reminded me of Salt Lake City and GK and her husband and her husband said it perfectly.
Speaker 1:I mean, he's like it doesn't matter if it was the man or a woman. It's the fact that it's the infidelity that the daughter is going to hear about, and I thought that was really. I think that hit really close to home, right, and it's the truth of it. You know, it doesn't matter what your relationship status is and how you guys identify If you're stepping out. You're stepping out, yeah, because it's behind their back, exactly, have that conversation.
Speaker 2:Have that conversation, have those roles in place and just fucking go by those fucking roles like and have that open communication.
Speaker 1:Now, the second thing you said, and something that I experienced, you know, about a year or so ago is you know, you said, if you start having eyes for somebody, then you probably shouldn't be together. And that was me. I was in a relationship with, ultimately, a really great person, right and great guy, and things were just kosher and Gucci. But then something happened Not to get too many details, but I noticed I started having eyes and feelings for someone else and I did not want to cheat when I was definitely already emotionally cheating and when I realized, hey, these are real feelings and a real life for somebody. It sucked and it really sucked. But I ended up breaking it off with the guy I was dating Because I just knew that it wasn't going to be a good road and at that time but it wasn't sure if I could trust myself I didn't want to do that to him.
Speaker 1:We had that conversation after the facts right Once we.
Speaker 1:Of course there was a period of time where we weren't talking, so we had a cooling off period. But then, when we kind of decided to discuss what had happened, I shut up and told him. I was like listen, I didn't want to cheat on you and I felt that while I was trying to work out through my feelings and emotions, it could have happened. So I called it when I called it kind of thing, because I didn't want to end up in the same path as old Jay.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, right.
Speaker 1:Old Jay was fun but also stupid, and I just didn't want to do it again. So I did have to call it off for the both of us. But that's absolutely right. It doesn't matter whether it's gay or straight. You shouldn't be having a whole double life.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and like the person who had messaged me, he was like, he gets it if it's in a different country, which makes sense, because they kill people in other countries for being gay. So if they have to marry a woman to save their life and then still have that connection with someone that they do really love, understood, I get that.
Speaker 1:Same, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:I know it's a slippery slope. It is a very slippery slope and especially, like I said, I have been cheated on. I remember the first time that I knew I was cheated on but because I used to when I was young, my late teens and early 20s there was no such thing as being faithful in my book, like not at all. I had no respect for a relationship. It was horrible. And then I remember the first time I got cheated on and it crushed me and I had that feeling that gut.
Speaker 1:When I had that visceral feel, I was like never again Like I'm done.
Speaker 2:I'm done cheating on people.
Speaker 1:That's what it took, unfortunately. So no, I don't support people living those double lives. I also don't speak up in it, like I don't. Sometimes I'm really big on that son and by business kind of thing, especially if I don't know them well. If I know them really well then I might step in and be like fix your shit, but ultimately I just kind of I try to take a step back, let's do our business. But I don't support it. I don't agree with it and I really feel like a lot of it comes on the communication.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that there's just like this stigma, for it's kind of like known or whatever, that oh, the gay men love straight men or married men or that kind of shit, and it's just like, why do we allow that, or why do some of us go along with that or do that?
Speaker 1:Excuse me, I'm laughing at myself right now because I'm also. I feel like I just brought this up even to you just recently in one of our outings where I was talking about I can't stand because, right, it is a stigma and it's also a little taboo thing to where it is just conventionally like hot to hook up with that straight person. And I can't stand when I'll have like a fellow friend of mine who's gay, who does hook up with an attractive, whatever closet case, and then they go and run their mouth and I'm like you've got to stop doing that because you're taking it away from. The more you do that, the less they're gonna trust us as a whole and a whole.
Speaker 2:I know I know, no, there's that double in time.
Speaker 1:Yes but which ultimately contradicts everything I just said in the last three minutes. But, yes, but when it comes down to the but, when you said that stigma and the whole, like you know, connotation behind it, it is attractive. And I guess what I'm saying is, if you are gonna be immoral and you are gonna be wrong, you are gonna go and do something. Keep it to your fucking self.
Speaker 2:So with that, I listen. I have big hair for a reason and I keep secrets. So that's why I have big hair, because it's full of secrets. But no, like I, you know, I agree, I think that you know. But again, there's once it's a married, like someone in the relationship thing. If you want to be the other person, or if you're like, oh, I don't sleep with gay men, I at least sleep with straight men or whatever, because there's a lot of gays like that, then it's just like okay, be the other person, be unhappy with yourself, whatever it may be that you're telling yourself that it's okay, keep that secret to yourself, because you're either gonna ruin a marriage, Right.
Speaker 2:Or now you're never going to want to dick down another ass again because but also you know what a lot of these married men through bottoms.
Speaker 1:That's what. Okay, that's what I was alluding to earlier about not wanting to just talk to their spouse. I think that I even get that question nowadays with some friends of mine who I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before they get a little bit more comfortable to ask the real question, but whole question is like yeah, like if I want to get fucked in the ass, does that make me gay?
Speaker 1:And after it's plain nothing you do with your wife is gay, exactly. You can do the most conventionally quote unquote gayest things. She could fist you yeah.
Speaker 2:You're not gay Because it's a woman. It's what you're doing with a woman. Exactly yeah, and that's why I try to Pleasure is pleasure, whether it's from, whether it's anal pleasure or vaginal pressure, whatever pleasure it is, it doesn't matter how. If that's your shtick, if that's what you're enjoying, it's pleasure. Nothing's wrong with any kind of pleasure. Yeah, it's pleasure.
Speaker 1:And what frustrates me a little bit is I do have a military friend of mine back at one of my previous where I was stationed at, who was just, first of all, he was very handsome, very large, very muscular, very attractive, very personable. Everybody loved him and I think because of that he was really open about his sex life and anytime he got into a room and we got into like shooting the shtick, he would talk about how he just loves getting railed by his wife and we're talking with the biggest of biggest toys and no one's gonna talk shtick to him just because of his physical stature. But every single time this conversation came up there was always one or two other guys who'd be like well, yeah, I kinda like it too.
Speaker 1:My wife's sort of fingered me and I really liked it and it's like that just tells me that all of you bitches like it, but no one wants to talk about it because of stigma.
Speaker 2:Right, it feels fucking good. Who wouldn't like it?
Speaker 1:Exactly so, yeah. So, as I said, it comes down to communication and you're right, a lot of the married men that hook up with it was also. It got a lot of the like no kissing no, nothing, I just wanna come over and I want you to bang me and then I wanna go.
Speaker 1:There was even one guy who would not exactly he wouldn't finish because he had said that and I never verified the study or article or whatever that says like if you ejaculate with someone, you will build like some sort of brain chemistry bond with that person. He's like I don't want that, like that bond was with my wife, so like you will rail me until almost completion, then I'm gonna go home, so like he wouldn't even finish Boring.
Speaker 1:Hey, I was there to serve Wilfred no, I was going there to serve Wow. He can thank me for my service, anyways. So yeah, communication. I think a lot of it has to deal with just that. Also, I did know somebody whose wife was one of those I refused. His wife refused to receive anal sex.
Speaker 1:So, he loved, I guess being a top, if you were to put it in gay terms and so because he couldn't get it from his wife, something. So I shouldn't say simple, but you know, whatever he would go out. No, there was one couple that I knew older when I say older I'm talking like late fifties, right and his wife said I'm done, I'm done giving blowjobs, I'm done, go out and get blowjobs for whoever you want, as long as it's a dude, and that she was okay with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the open conversation that people should have.
Speaker 1:And so he was like, all right, and that's all he would do. He would just go out and get blowjobs from dudes and he would do nothing more with the dude. But that was I guess she was just done sucking dick.
Speaker 2:I guess it was a time limit. I don't know what that age is, but Well, no, I mean, they start getting dry, just like their vagina.
Speaker 1:So how are they?
Speaker 2:gonna like well you know what I mean? Yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 1:I think everything comes down to the communication, yeah, and I think it'd be amazing what people are into just have that conversation.
Speaker 2:That right. So I think that what you're basically trying to say is to those who might be scared to have that conversation with their female partner that they should have that conversation versus doing something behind their back. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree, who wouldn't wanna do that?
Speaker 1:I'm remembering a story at one time I had this straight friend of mine who always wanted to have threesomes with his chick but it was always male, male, female threesomes. And the other friend of mine who he had a threesome with he was just like it's really hard not to say names that I'm not going to he would be like man, I really feel like person A was just really trying to get my dick in his mouth and I was like I think he was too and you should just let him Like I think he needs to experiment that and I think he's trying to make it look like an accident. But just, I guess the way the positioning was, it was always so that it would fall into his mouth. Yeah, oh yeah, it was always a way to fall into his mouth and he's like I really think he's trying to get I think, I really think he wants to suck my dick.
Speaker 2:I was like. I think so too.
Speaker 1:So just let him. I just would just let him Like you're already there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, just his friends, just his friends. Yeah, I mean, that would be the friendly thing to do.
Speaker 1:Obviously cordial.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Play At least.
Speaker 2:That's what he could do. On that note, I think that that was a great topic. So if you do want us to kind of hear our opinions on anything, please send us a message, dm us, or you could even put. There's something on Spotify, right, yes? So yeah, you could hit us up on Spotify, put whatever topic. You could be anonymous if you'd like, unless you're like say, I'm the one asking for it and I want people to know. You know what I mean. It's all private information that you end up sending us. If you want us to tell a story on your behalf and you want to remain anonymous, I would love.
Speaker 1:Oh, please Do that. Tell us your personal story. It's right at the DM. Send us a novel, yeah, and if you want it to remain anonymous, us aspiring journalists will never reveal our source Exactly. And again that's my hair so big because it's full of secrets. I can keep a secret. I swear guys.
Speaker 2:Oh, but thanks for listening and tune in next time. Bye.
Speaker 1:Bye-bye now. Yes.
